You ever have moments when out of the blue a memory comes back to you about something you did while under the influence that you’re super ashamed of?
E.g., “I can’t can’t believe I did that...” It happens to me about once or twice a a week!
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All the time. Along with it comes a bit of anxiety. That's why acceptance is key, we can't change the things we have done, and we must let then go.
Trying to litigate or rewrite the past is a gut-wrenching effort with no positive outcome possible.
It's normal!
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My whole life
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There are a lot of things that make me say, "I can't believe I did that," but only one thing that I'm really ashamed of that plays back in my head every single day. Three years later, it feels like I'll never get past it.
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This mostly applies to the harm that I inflicted on myself. But yes, memories pop up.
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I definitely have that. Scars on my body, sleeping with strangers, drunk driving. Those are just to name a few.
I used to not care, but when I started to, serious anxiety.
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I agree that we need to accept that what happened, happened. My mind next asks: but HOW is that done?
There has to be safe ways to release the shame we hold from the actions or inaction of our perceived transgressions. That’s why I like the idea of talking with a group (like this app) or sitting with a therapist or trusted friend to be able to say it out loud, and be met with empathy.
That sort of ‘truth speaking’ is what I find most cleansing, personally. To know I am still worthy of love and not alone despite it all.
I’ve released many shameful moments of my life and yet still have a treasure trove to examine. It’s a life long journey of acceptance.
Larry, I feel your pain. You have made mistakes, incurred untold harm—as have we all—AND you are loved. Inarguably + inherently worthy of peace, tenderness, and acceptance my friend 
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Brittany, have you yet spoken this shame out loud with someone you trust and that you know will empathize with you?
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There’s shame in that, too, no doubt. You are loved 
Beth, that sounds a lot like my story, as well. I still have flashes of people, places, and feelings that I haven’t yet processed. I also have struggled with the shame of bringing people who were unsafe into my life, around my family and others I cared deeply about; I put other people in harms way. Sort of like another form of “drunk driving”. Of which I did, too.
Yes!! Going along with that, when I’m out now I think of all the embarrassing things the drunk alternate universe version of myself would be doing in this very moment. And that helps me stay sober.
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I feel this. Never been caught doing it, but I bet that does make it harder to explain!
Jo, that is a totally decent reminder to stay sober. The poor choices and the subsequent humiliation... my dignity winces at the thought!
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Shame is something we throw at ourselves and others like monkeys fling poo.
I don't tolerate shaming, especially of myself.
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That’s a powerful statement! (And hilarious). Do you you have any strategies of combating shame that you find particularly effective?
The random, endless inventory!
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I’m not sure I understand lol?
Definitely comes with the territory it's kind of a package deal with drugs/alcohol. The beautiful part is we have the solution today and never again to we have to deal with that shame, embarrassing moments, waking up from a blackout wondering what didn't or did i do? Where did I go? Step four and five were paramount to me ridding myself of these things.
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Yes. I have quite a few. The one I cling to is the memory of me on my knees, drunk on the kitchen floor after breaking my promise to myself not to get loaded again and thumbing through the phone book looking for the number of AA while crying.
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