Well, the random "I can't believe I did that" are inventory issues. It continues to happen in recovery. Do you know what a personal inventory is?
Maybe not in the way you’re invoking. Will you tell me?
I am not familiar with the steps. What are step 4 & 5?
David, even though that is a moment of pain and perceived weakness for you, it is also a beautiful image of strength. You noticed your mistake and were trying to right it even amidst the disinhibition. I’m proud of you.
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Step 4 is make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves
Step5 is admit to God., to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs
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It was a weakness, but also an awakening. I choose to remember it because it was my breaking point, my rock bottom moment, so to speak. That was the day I really came to realize I had a problem.
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When I experience those random thoughts, I need to give them a quick assessment so I can move forward. Personal inventory includes but not limited to our behavior, attitudes, character defects, motivations, morals etc.. Does that make sense? Sometimes I forget to leave Jay's world before I speak/post things.
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Ohhhhh. Well that makes decent sense, then. Thanks for laying that out for me.
I’ve never worked the steps explicitly, but I’ve hammered a lot of similar goals out with a therapist. Making sense of my values and moral compunctions along with naming a lot of the harm done and shame I’ve harbored helped tremendously, I do agree.
Thank you for sharing this profound moment with me 
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Thank you so much for the kind words. I just saw someone's post on this app that said, "Don't hit yourself harder than what's necessary to teach you," and that really puts things in perspective. Definitely going to try to be more forgiving of myself.
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Yes, with a couple friends who are beyond empathetic and amazing. I think it's the fact that I went against one of my strongest held convictions that really makes me angry with myself. You know the things you swear you'll never do, and then with the perfect storm of events and low self-esteem, you find yourself doing those very things, and don't understand how you let it happen. But this app and the wonderful people on it have been extremely helpful in knowing that none of us are alone in our shame, and we all deserve to forgive ourselves. 
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Yeah but it's gotten a lot better since I've spent so much time changing how I go about things and who I was as a person. If I was still caught in those actions it would hurt me a lot more but it's not as bad anymore.
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Brittany, what I hear you saying is how much it hurts when we violate our own principles. We hold those transgressions amongst the highest of all offenses, in ourselves and in others. And when circumstances become far too oppositional to our held interests, it often feels out of our control to fight the outcome. That self-abandonment is taught and it can be un-taught. You are right, you are not alone in the clumsy journey of building integrity and cultivating self-respect. I’m here with you in that. I believe in us
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Remember, what is past is past, you can't change the past, all you can do is live the present. Lessons of the past help you make better choices in the present. Those random memories may not be so random, rather they might be relevant to a situation you are in today or are on the path parallel to, today. There is usually a trigger for these memories.