Ugh I’m struggling. I think I have effed up my life again. 3 1/2 years clean and not using illegal drugs, but I feel like I am heading straight to relapse mode. I’m abusing melatonin so I can sleep.
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Hi Emily, you can do this! Has something triggered your inability to sleep? Maybe you can replace melatonin with an activity that can help you sleep. Maybe try a chamomile tea instead, or valerian root.
Hey Eric thanks for responding. I’ve been sliding a little here and there for about 2 months now. The suggestion that has worked in the past is 15 minutes of reading and 15 minutes of writing. I just have to be willing to do that instead of taking the easy way, ya know? But now that the secret is out, sponsor will help me with 30 in 30 meetings and meditations, daily gratitude list, and throwing the melatonin away.
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Meditation to fall asleep is a good one for me-there is a guy named three trees on facebook-he does Thursday night healing meditations...pretty powerful. I think he started my healing...but not sure-certainly does not happen overnight!
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Yes, reading and writing can be a great way to wind down and decompress after a long day, whether good or bad. Those other ways sound wonderful too! Great courage and will power! You're strong mama
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The very fact that you recognize that you may be slipping is a step in the right direction which may not have happened before.
Use that as an opportunity to find alternatives. You’re doing great, you can do this.
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I agree with valerian root. But do your homework as valerian can react with some medicines. Also if you are not on any benzo's two benadryl will be a better choice. Everyone these days seems to have one or more allergies!
Yeah I don’t think I can use any substances because this addict will always want more. There’s always a solution that doesn’t involve substances.
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Hi Emily. It’s such a fine line we walk isn’t it? Don’t give up the fight. Different solutions for different people.
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It always shows itself in other ways before we get High. Just don’t have use
I mean to ask a serious question is Melatonin an addictive substance or something with a serious potential to abuse???? I give my children some every night to help aid their falling asleep so Id really like to know. I've never heard of anyone abusing this stuff and it is deliberately marketed to parents to aid their childrens sleeping habits an help them fall asleep easier!!!
Hey Benjamin. For me, it’s not the substance but the behavior that’s the problem. Once I start overusing anything it can be a slippery slope that could eventually lead to relapse. When the meds stop working I still have insomnia 
I was giving it to my child too because he has some hyperactivity but I decided it’s probably better to help him understand tools to manage his hyperactivity than to show him the easy way. Parenting is frigging tricky as an addict.
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Hey there Emily! Good thing is that you are self aware of these kind of things, it definitely makes it easier to stay clean! Hope all is going well with you!
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I feel you. I’m at that 31/2 year mark and felt off I just started hitting meetings hard and I’m starting to feel myself again
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Nice Rich! I’m doing the same- recommitted to my recovery and sticking close to sponsor 
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Hi Emily - sleep meditations work for me to fall asleep and there are apps for your phone that you can listen to and they will shut off automatically when the meditation/story is over. None of them on the app I use is over an hour long, and I have yet to make it through an entire one!! Glad you are self aware and there are certainly other options out there for sleep.
Yep. No substances.
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I run and meditate daily. But yeah sometimes I just can’t sleep. Usually when I start abusing sleep meds there’s something else going on. Sponsor says if this happens again I should look at my clean date 
I have so much on my plate right now. Stress always tips the scales for me.
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Yeap!! Way powerless right now- over my ex husband, my living situation, my work situation. But when I am still enough- the answers come. I have power over myself and my actions and I don’t have to be a victim to any of that stuff. I’m already okay 
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I have been writing a 10th step every night using an app. It’s no fun but it’s working wonders 