This is hard for me to admit, to myself, to this group, to my family... I am am alcoholic. I tried so hard to not be my father but I am slowly becoming him. Actively ruining my own life for no good reason. I hit a new low 2 days ago... I was drinking hard Alcohol while driving and I blacked out. I woke up to the cops knocking on my window because I was parked on the lawn at my apartment complex. They didn't give me a ticket, they didn't arrest me. They told me I should use this as an educational warning. I could have killed someone. I could have killed myself. I dont want to be this person. I want to be ME again. I will go weeks, even one time I went months without drinking. But when I start feeling good I somehow justify drinking because, "I wont drink too much this time." That is always a lie. I have no control over it. I need help. What are things you guys have done to be strong enough to drive past the store and not turn in the parking lot. This HAS to be my last time trying to be sober and to actually get sober or I will lose everything I've worked so hard for and I will lose the love of my life who has thus far been my biggest support and I just keep crapping on him. Im sorry for the novel. Thank you to anyone who reads this.
Sending my love . Was so hard for me to admit too
Hang in there babe
I know that feeling... it took a dui for me to finally admit to myself that I had a problem... and even then I was arrogant enough to think I had beaten it. Being sober can be hard work, but admitting it to yourself is a huge step. We are all here to support you, reach out if you need anything... you got this!
I am sorry you are in the place you are, but there is good news. You see the problem. Now all you have to do is learn how to deal with it. Find a group. Go to meetings. They will help you learn how to deal with the urge to rationalize taking a drink.
Its not easy.... thank you for your kind words 
A few weeks ago I thought losing my car keys and house key was the worst... it was NOT. I really appreciate I can say how im feeling and not being judged. I know I'm not a bad person. I just make bad decisions. But I tell you, this was a wake up call. I called the people who meant the most to me after and told them I had a problem and what id done. They all support me being sober but, the pain I could hear in my Moms voice was awful. I really appreciate yalls support, it helps to be able to take and knowing im not alone.
I know your pain... my mom drove me home from the police station the night I got arrested. I know it seems hard now, but it does get better.
Its still very fresh so I still feel like a pos. I am very disappointed in myself. Im her only child and she had to deal with this same crap from my Dad for 16 years and here I am turning into the one person I dont want to be. I know I can do it. Its just finding something positive and productive in place of drinking.
I just downloaded this app so I can also get some support. I feel like what you’ve written, was written about me. I am going through EXACTLY the same now. I need to try and get my crap together before I lose everything. I need help.
It was hard for me to write that. I've never admitted to the stupid things I've done while drinking. Especially to strangers. It is a great help to have people that have gone through the same thing and really understand the struggle. I see what I'm losing and I won't allow it. I've worked so hard for everything I have and I have an amazing man. Its a one day at a time kinda thing. Just work hard on seeing you're worth it! We're all worth being sober, happy and having a GOOD life we won't be ashamed of.
I’m here for you. Go to AA meetings. In person or on zoom and get a sponsor. Call someone when you’re driving pass the store
I felt like you were telling my story. Except I did go to jail. Your path to healing has already began because you’re aware of the problem and brave enough to admit it. It’s a long road ahead... focus on the small wins. If you make it one day without drinking, you are making progress. Identify that voice that says “I won’t drink too much this time” as your demon. It’s a lie. Addiction is giving up everything for one thing. Recovery is giving up one thing for everything. You can do this!
I feel like I was reading my own story. You need a solid detox and a support network. NA/AA can make a huge difference if you really apply yourself. Find a meeting, find a sponsor. You can do it. Xoxo
Hey if you need a friend tobtalk with just message me
I've been sober 5 months now.. when I would drink, I would drink to get shit faced drunk. I would sometimes go weeks on end without any alcohol, but the moment alcohol would touch my lips, all bets were off. I had no control of myself cause booze would take over my whole being.. needless to say it took numerous counts of “rock bottoms” for me to REALLY realize I am an alcoholic and cannot drink at all. I am a binge drinker and have learned that I have a thinking problem and alcohol/drugs are one of the symptoms of my thinking problem. Sobriety is a gift that I now cherish and do not take lightly. If you feel you are an alcoholic seek help. AA meetings, talking with ppl u trust are some free outlets.
I come from a long lineage of alcoholics. Seeing who they were sober vs. under the influence pushed me not to be like them. I drank spiked punch before and seeing my mom's face when I got home hurt me to the core. I didn't want to chance being abusive, having kids terrified of me etc. This is why I didn't let addiction overtake me.
I so appreciate your honesty. It is hard to admit the truth to others but you did it and that’s the beginning. You don’t have to live that way anymore. Remember what you did but don’t dwell on it. Today is a new day. Today is all we have. Stay sober today. Tomorrow just do it again.
Reaching out is a good move
you have a shot
lots of support here
I cannot thank you guys enough for your support It truly means more then I can explain. Knowing there are people who can really understand my struggles.