Sad holiday weekend

Hotline
#1

Maybe it’s the Mercury retrograde lol but this weekend I have been feeling pretty depressed about my sobriety.

I just feel like my healthy lifestyle is making it hard for people to relate to me and want to be close to me. I feel men I date just want to go out and party and choose that lifestyle over me.

I feel so lonely in this. Everyone I tell is supportive of my sobriety but when the time comes to hang out or do anything all people want to do is go out and drink.

I wish I had more sober friends.. I feel so fucking alone.

8 Likes
#2

Your in this weird place in your head, a stuck place, in my early sobriety I found my self alone and depressed, its a nasty spot, I picked up the Bible read it and slowly found i felt better, those times seem to be less and less , I know that God uses those moments to motivate me, its pain to push, this morning memories of loneliness while with a lady that was being pushed while I was present...it makes sense later

1 Like
#3

Amanda,
I totally feel what you're going thru! Seems like my friends just want to get drunk at any occasion- watching a game, happy hour on a Friday after a long work week, or even when we do something as simple as get lunch. But with time and patience, we have to find other like minded people as us. Honestly it's a challenge but they are out there.
But when our true friends see how much we have improved as people, they will want to join us in recovery and we can be role models for them.

But do remember you said the magic words ,'healthy lifestyle '. Mentally and physically you must be a million times better than before and every time u look in the mirror ,you can be proud of your beautiful self😊

2 Likes
#4

Thank you, Jay. I am super proud of myself and I have no desire to go back to my old ways. Just wish it didn’t make me feel so left out. But you’re right, I’m sure with patience I will pull out of this funk and find more like-minded people. Thanks again for the encouragement.

2 Likes
#5

I feel your pain. I literally have no “real” friends that are sober. You don’t realize how many activities actually involve drinking until you are sober. It sucks to be honest. But it’s the life we live. I just tell myself, I have a problem, not them. They should not have to cater to me. But it makes it tough. I honestly don’t go out much because of this. The loneliness is almost as bad as the drinking to be honest. But got to power through. One day at a time.

1 Like
#6

As odd as it may seem, I find the best way to find people that don't want to drink is a church. Some churches have allow drinking, bur many members won't drink and many are good people to hang out with. I guess my point is find a new meeting pool.

#7

Yeaaaah really not into church :woman_shrugging:t2:

1 Like
#8

100% relate. This long weekend makes it especially hard. Can’t wait until the day comes that I start enjoying social get togethers again without feeling left out/annoyed. Hang in there!!

1 Like
#9

Honestly it might be too early for you but I’ve been going out and drinking mocktails while my friends drink. I have a great time cause I remember that the drinking is just the illusion- I am still fun, act the same without the guilt and shame. Alcohol only tricks you into thinking you need it.

#10

The point to that is find a new place to find people at. May not be a church but somewhere.

#11

Oh I can definitely do that, and I have!! I guess maybe I’m just feeling lonely because I don’t have that many friends in general. Luckily I made a new friend that is inviting me to a beach day thing tomorrow so I think I will be in a better mood. I’m not sad about not drinking, I guess I’m just feeling lonely in general and then I used to fill up my nights by going on dates and drinking and now that it’s off the table my nights feel empty and I feel sad about it. Idk guess I’m just feeling sorry for myself over here. :joy: the days are always easier than the night.

1 Like
#12

I hear ya.. just hard to find those places and make friends as an adult lol

#13

I totally get that. I know the feeling you are speaking of. I think you are right though, going with the emotions as they change. I know some days are better than others.

1 Like
#14

Sobriety looks great on you! Keep it going. Struggles will show themselves but you’re greater than anything they can throw your way. :ok_hand::muscle::muscle:

1 Like
#15

When we choose sobriety, many friends don’t choose us anymore because they aren’t willing to fight their own demons. Hope you experience brighter days ahead. :call_me_hand:

1 Like
#16

I appreciate your kind words! Thank you!

1 Like
#17

I feel ya on everything you are saying. I decided to get sober again the Friday before one of the biggest longest drinking weekends of year. On top of that my roommate has 5 buddies who have been crashing at my place from his hometown all weekend and that has made it brutal!! I’m 32 and all my friends drank as much as I do so they fell by the wayside because I’m not “fun” to hang with anymore. I’m definitely white knuckling this weekend that seems like it won’t end for sure. I’m also looking for new outlets and avenues where I live where getting drunk isn’t apart of every activity. Just wanted to say I feel what you’re saying and you’re not alone.

#18

It can be tough dealing with friends who don’t have the same problem with addiction.. I try to stay busy and out of my head.. it’s a good time to try new things and see what you like... sober communities are helpful for me and I am finally starting to have fun without the drink... I go to Huntington Beach and relax or play vollleyball.. there are a lot of meetings in this area also.

#19

Maybe go to a meeting and get some numbers? There's safety (and JOY) in numbers :heart:

1 Like
#21

Recovery doesn’t have to be boring find new outlets!