I give up... I’m not strong enough to do this... I told my husband I’m give up... whatever happens happens. It hurts more to try and fail then to just give in and think this how it’s just going to be. I even told my husband it may be best to separate and he keeps the kids. You see he’s a daily drinker ... about a 12 pack 5/7 days a week... but he doesn’t get to the point that I can at times. Better control? Idk, I’m always alone too or at least feel alone.
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Would your kids really be better off with him? If you're thinking of the best case scenario, it could be time to rethink it because those kids have a hell of a lot of life ahead of them. I hope everything works out as best as can be.
It's not about how much we drink It's about our behavior and the people we hurt when we drink...also at times we could be surrounded by a 1000 people and feel alone as well as lonely
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Behavioral health .... Aren't you in the business of helping others? I wonder what you would say to the people you work with , when they want to give up? Now you can tell them it's okay to give up, because you have too!. How does that sound?
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What is in the best interest of your children ? Do you have relatives who would take them in ? If CPS finds out, they may go into foster care. Do you want that ? Get yourself to a meeting, get a sponsor. Miracles do happen. I'm one of them, thanks to AA. 26 years sober.
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Hey Jennifer I'm sorry you're going through a hard time right now. I know what it's like to be in a house full of people and still feel lonely. This being said you can't get sober alone. It takes a community. Just like it takes a village to raise a child it does to get sober too. I know you're in a lot of pain and I do not want to minimize that but you can do this. Have you ever been to a meeting? If there aren't ones meeting in person you can access a meeting online every hour of every day. There is a solid group of women that are in recovery in this community that be glad to show you how to get going with a meeting online. If you would like to start going to one know and I'll have one of them message you. Don't overwhelm yourself with having to quit drinking forever just focus on today. Worry about tomorrow when it gets here
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Jennifer! Do not give up!! You and your family are worth giving everything you got to getting sober!! I know its not easy, I remember when I first started I remember saying... giving up drinking us like saying I can't live happy anymore!! Boy was I wrong. I struggled with 3 rehabs, loosing my Spleen from so much drinking and almost losing my Liver as well!! It just takes one minute, one hour and 1 day at a time!! I never thought after 20 years of drinking I couldn't stop either! But with the AA Community and a good sponsor I was able to celebrate on March 26, 2021 11 years of Sobriety!! You can do it too!! Just do it!!!
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If I could be of any help, just let me know!!
Can you tell me why 12 step programs aren’t for you?
I’m very much aware it’s my responsibility... it’s just too hard. And frankly maybe I’m one of the lucky few who find sobriety. Yes, I work in the mental health field and it’s for the state so it’s very stressful... I find it much easier to help others than myself. I’ve always been the “caregiver” The Who simply cares too much. I figure one day with enough prayer God will take the desire away. My hands are up ... and simply no... I’be tried AA online.. I did 3-4 meetings and I just don’t feel it’s for me. Only benefit is that it’s free. Maybe I’ll need to look into paying a coach idk. Appreciate all the honesty but it’s stuff I’m pretty much already aware of and acknowledge... it’s moving passed it I can’t seem to figure out.
Maybe I’m not one of the lucky few*
Just because I work in mental health doesn’t mean I can help myself.. just like a dentist also need a dentist.
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Here you
Jennifer you have the desire to get sober. F zoom. Go to a meeting. Sit in a room full of people just like you who were also convinced they were beyond help until they committed to rigorous honesty and the 12 steps.
Maybe seek some state run inpatient treatment
What better lesson to show your kids and family than that you can overcome alcoholism?show them that even when you want to quit, and quitting seems easier, that you won’t quit. Not on yourself. Not on them. Let’s not forget we most likely pass some of that alcoholism gene to them. My dad was a drunk who never tried or cared to quit. Now in my mid-life we are estranged. I don’t want that for my kids.
You can’t give up. You can’t let it win. Him win. Separate yourself from him. If you don’t put sobriety and recovery first, everything you love and adore in life will come last. Take a vacation. Re evaluate your ordeal from afar then go from there.
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You should know. If you don’t love and help yourself first there’s no possible way to love anything or anybody else. You can’t give something away that you don’t have.
Don’t be another fucking statistic. Look at all this support and love you have from strangers. There’s no you, no me, there’s just us. Sisters and brothers
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First and foremost don’t give up. AA is just a tool in your toolbox that you can rely on. It’s a good place to start but the long game is inner peace. You sound like a smart woman that has a lot of resources you can pull from ( your profession). Good luck and just take it easy on yourself.