Why do I do this? Every time I do so much damage in just a few days. Months or years of staying on the right track and back to square one. Disappointing people, shame, don’t know what I’m thinking.
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It is cunning baffling and powerful...Glad you made it back. "We do recover"
I completely get it. The shame and regret after resuming drinking or use almost seems insurmountable, right? But yet, we revert back. Or at least I have...many times. I'm sorry you're fighting the fight again. You can and will get through it. Sending peace.
I know that you feel it is back to square one, but if you've had months or years before then you've got the fight in you. You're just getting back in the ring 
Sending positivity your way💚
Well Stephen welcome back. The only person you should disappoint is yourself nobody else. You got this you did it before so you’re here asking for help again no big deal we got you. You can do this. Don’t let the demon beat you. There’s no shame in what happens to us. We will slip once or twice. But we’re OK. I look at this is Bob and Bill made the biggest membership in the world. It’s a membership you don’t have to pay for. Do you only thing this membership asked for did you stop drinking that’s all. If you slip get back up and do it all over again. Doesn’t make you any different than me.You just need to change your thinking a little bit that’s all
We often get comfortable with our sobriety and forget that just as soon as we let our guard down we can fall.you aren't alone in this. Pick up the pieces and begin again. Take the lessons you learn from this and make them a constant reminder. You can do this.