Where ever you go there you are...when i stopped using

Recovery
#1

Where ever you go there you are...when i stopped using meth, I turned to heroin. Heroin became the love of my life. I would do whatever it took to have it in my veins. I have been "clean" several times. But never looked at MY part in MY life. I blamed others for my problem's and never took accountability for my actions. When i got sober this time things were different. I went to treatment for my first time. Got into Oxford worked on the areas "I" wanted to work on....but then there was a fork in the road around my 2 years...i could go down a path of being miserable and hang on to my sobriety the best i could. Or i could walk down the other path and really look at the shit i pretend to forget about...today i have 11 months Of celibacy. i am very proud and grateful of where i am today. I was reading some journals i found from 2005. I was 15. I struggled at such a young age with thinking men and sex would fix my problems. It has been 15 years and i am finally able to find a solution to learning to be okay with Dorothy. My realization came a few days ago...when i had to tell myself food is not the answer. And tonight when im over-stimulated want something to comfort me like meth, heroin, men, food ect. I lay here uncomfortable because i know none of those things work as solution for me anymore....i cant wait for the rest of this to unfold...
#GrowthIsReal
#RecoveryIsPossible

#2

Wow, congratulations! If you hadnt have said oxford I would have sworn you were telling my story for a minute there.

#3

I love your post, self growth is absolutely real. :pray::+1:

#4

I feel this to the bones. I hope to someday get where you are today. You truly are an inspiration! Great work on yourself. YOU are worth it!!

#5

I know so many who are going down the same road you were on. I know people who were never doing drugs on that road. They don't want to admit their own part in life's issues, and they keep the cycle alive. I am glad you chose the path to healing. Good luck.

#6

Awesome

#7

Yes, all of this! Learning to sit with our discomfort and let it be, then pass rather than numbing ourselves is such a major part of our recovery and growth.