In what ways other than substance abuse have you experienced addiction—Chronic people pleasing? Serial relationships? Gambling? What other unhealthy ways have you tried to compensate for your pain?
I read once that addiction was an attempt to regulate the nervous system. As in an attempt to relieve the physiological discomfort we feel with overwhelming emotions. And I thought that was incredible. It really spoke to the need to “numb the pain” quite literally. And yes, it’s not just substance abuse. There are other chronic behaviors that are, I’d argue, self-harming.
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That sounds like an engrossing read. I’ll be anxious to hear about what you take from it. I personally love learning about the more objective mechanisms of addiction and human behavior as a whole. It takes the at times ambiguous nature of recovery/treatment metaphor/idioms and gives me a more solid understanding about what’s going on inside of me. It also helps release some shame by challenging the concept that I just have weak volition or am irreparably damaged—there’s biological implications to be considered.
Hmm.
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Past serial dating, certain toxic interactions within relationships, exercise and unhealthy relationships with food, physical pain in different forms, etc.
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That sounds like a great book! I’ll put it in my queque
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One word. FOOD. I grew up in a big Italian family, what seemed like endless courses of food on sundays and holidays were business as usual. Once I started my recovery and abstained from drugs/alcohol, my addiction definitely went the route of food. I put on a bit of weight, and this was during quarantine as well so the sedentary lifestyle of being home all day didnt help either! I’m happy to say I’ve been doing better in this department, but outside of opioids, food has been the bigger addiction in my life that I’ve always struggled with
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The world offers up a limitless supply of coping mechanisms for pain /discomfort or to just escape . Food , sex , technology (smart phone addiction is a real thing ) , drugs (including caffeine ) , exercise , relationships , and many more . We are encouraged to escape with temporary satisfaction and instant gratification . That is what makes sitting with pain and discomfort and facing it head on so difficult . It’s hard being human and learning to balance all of the tempting coping mechanisms that the world provides while maintaining emotional sobriety .
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Same here. Italian family, lots of food all the time. Sitting here about 30 lbs overweight. It’s easy to do when there is so much temptation.
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When I started my journey of sobriety, work. As a Heavy Construction Equipment mechanic, I was working 80-100 hours a week, leaving me no time or energy to use. My body forced an end to that after about 15 years.
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You mentioned gambling... Luckily for me, gambling was never my thing. And I certainly am not much for trying to please everyone around me. Definitely not a serial dater. Or any kind of dating at all for that matter! 
My addiction thankfully didn't take form into something else. It just left me with plenty of good quality time to spend with my family and forge relationships that we'd never had before.
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I hear ya on that, Greg. Industrial mechanic background here.
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I’m like that, too. I think healthy amount of skepticism is a smart idea to bring to the table for anything, even recovery.
I think that’s an important point to make. There’s an incredible capacity for empathy borne out of struggle. I try to stay away from silver linings, but this particular example feels like an exception.
All personal experiences of mine as well. It’s interesting to consider the different outlets we seek in order to find relief.
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Joe, that makes so much sense. It’s another form of coping with stress or discomfort—a delicious coping mechanism! It’s trickier to abstain from overeating when it’s something we HAVE to engage with in order to survive. And it sounds like you were all but socialized to cope in exactly this way.
Thank for sharing!
Joe, that makes so much sense. It’s another form of coping with stress or discomfort—a delicious coping mechanism! It’s trickier to abstain from overeating when it’s something we HAVE to engage with in order to survive. And it sounds like you were all but socialized to cope in exactly this way.
Thanks for sharing!
Stephen, you make such a great point. There are so many outs offered to us. It takes exceptional commitment and self-compassion to be able to navigate such a myriad selection of indulgence that are all but thrown at us.
It is so hard to be human, we are so vulnerable and require such care. Creating a life that honors that balance is about resource access and intentional mindfulness.
David, that’s interesting. I’m glad to hear you now have much more space to connect with people you love 