What in the world am I gonna do about my alcoholic girlfriend? We live together and she still drinks…alcohol in the fridge right now, how disrespectful but I know she can’t help it. I feel we’re worlds apart and this lonely feeling is triggering me something awful. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
You’re going to set clear boundaries and prioritize your sobriety over everything else in the world. And people who don’t support that will be left behind.
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I can give you more advice but I'm afraid you're not going to like it. Both of you need to be separated from each other at least temporarily. You need to figure this thing out and she needs to decide whether she wants to get sober or not. Believe me I know all the wrong roads in addiction/recovery and I've been down them all.
When you talk about having a girlfriend who drinks too much, man are you bringing back some bitter memories. I was married for almost eight years and both of us drank and our relationship year after year deteriorated more and more until it finally blew up and we got divorced.
Before I was even divorced I was shacking up with a woman that I met in AA if you can believe that. They were six of the most miserable years of my life. This is why I tried to tell newcomers to stay the hell out of relationships when you our first getting sober. Most of them don't listen today just like I didn't listen back then. I too had to learn the hard way. Relationships are not a solution to our problem. That ended in 1998. It wasn't until December of 2002 that I got sober. Sometime after that I finally figured out that the reason my life got the way that it did is because of decisions that I made that were based on self.
My sponsor suggested that I stay away from relationships until I figured out who I was because until I did that I really didn't have much to offer the opposite sex anyway. Looking back I can see how right he was! I know this is a lot to hear and Digest. You may not understand it right now but if you set out to get sober and stay sober and figure out who you are you will truly understand what I mean. When people set out to get sober, not many of them are willing to swim in that stream. Beside that, most couples that choose to get sober together for some reason seem to decide anyway that it just wasn't meant to be because they have become somebody new and aren't the same person they once were.
I went this route at the advice of my sponsor and I can tell you today that it was well worth it. My life is far better today then I could have ever imagined due to God the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and people like you who remind me that addiction and misery are still out there waiting for me if I want it.
It gets better
I would set clear boundaries and possibly consider ending the relationship if she doesn’t get help. You don’t want to put yourself in a situation where you could be vulnerable to relapse.
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Good advice
I’m in the same situation. Knowing you have to give that ultimatum for change weighs on your mind everyday.
agree with what everyone else is saying. I don’t have much of a choice as I’ve been married 13 years.. and while I’ve tried to set boundaries it doesn’t work and he continues to bring alcohol in the home and drink nightly. It’s my choice though to drink it not but it’s sure not helpful for me. I think that’s my barrier to staying sober. I can’t afford on my salary to leave.. and that’s sad. Set boundaries now or get out while you can.