What do you do when you and your partner have addictions? Its like I can never get clean cause we pull each down...do you leave the love of your life to save each other? Its so much to this problem so much more someone please help me idk what to do please help me save us
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Hi Roger, it sounds like you’re both incredibly codependent and it’s having detrimental consequences. As difficult as it is you would probably be best off separate from each other (at least for a while) and work on yourselves and your own recovery. Have you had counseling, either of you? (I was a Psych RN for 6 years, still have that mindset, so thought I’d give my opinion)
Btw I’m Jenn, I’m new here😊 to work though some things myself now.
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I had to leave my husband when I stopped drinking and he didn't. I thought that it was the only chance I had to stay sober. When we went court, he was drunk and eventually died in an alcohol-related fire. But I fought for my sobriety. That was 25 years ago. Still sober, not dead.
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Yes she was in a methadone clinic and got kicked out for raking benzos..what crazy is she bought more liquid methadone off the street after she almost OD a week ago...im just exhausted with it all
Me myself i was in a program years ago but not currently
Sara it sooo hard to deal with this situation idk what to do i feel like she will die if I leave her and it will be my fault
I’m in this boat. My partner probably wouldn’t admit their alcoholism if asked outright.
I go to a ton of meetings, like 5 a week. I drink a hundred iced coffees a day and I took up vaping. 3 days baby. That’s a big win for me.
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Oof this part is hard. You have to decide who is more important, you or her. Seems harsh but the disease of addiction kills people and you have to decide whether you want to save yourself. You can’t save her, no one can. She has to decide for herself too.
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This is hard. I know you love her. It won't be your fault if she dies as a result of addiction if you leave.
Staying doesn't sound like it's helping. Leaving may be the best option.
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Are you so sick and tired of being sick and tired that you're willing to put your sobriety first ? In your case, you should seriously think of a separation. You can't save her. You can't FIX her. But you can save yourself. Meetings, counseling whatever you can do. Do this for you ! Whatever she does will be HER responsibility, not yours. If you really want to end this cycle, step away from her. The more you focus on your sobriety, the less time you'll have to focus on hers. I've been where you are. And I'm alive and sober. My husband died drunk and burned up in a fire. He burned the house down. It was a tough time. My sponsor and AA meetings helped me make good decisions while helping me thru my grieving. That was 1995. I'm still sober.
Hi roger , I just responded to another post with a similar response . You have to be selfish on your recovery man , just focus on YOU for now . Anything you put before your recovery you will lose it . So just take it day by day , stay sober everything else will be alright
Roger, I wish I could say you can save you both. I wish I could tell you you can save her inspite of her desire to drown in addiction. Look at it like this if you are in the ocean and both of you can swim, but she won't; how long can you keep her afloat before you both drown? Addiction isn't much different. You save you and if someone is coming with you they are gonna have to swim for themselves.
I too am struggling w the relationship them I can do bad all by myself since Meetin him I have lost everything kids included me included i put h I m b4 everything n my life n now I have lost it all n he is n rehab n getting out n a week i only have a week sober i am trying to stay in track n to get myself back