Victims

Are alcoholics victims? Why or why not?

I say to a degree some are because they are responding to an unresolved issue. In many cases, something related to their childhood that's not their fault.

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Good question. I can look back and say definitely yes. But, I've been told that my fourth step is designed to first of all recognize my part in my issues. I've done a lot of harm and hurt people because of my decisions, and I have to own that. This also shows me where I need to change myself. Also, this step encourages me to let go of my resentments, even the legit ones. I can't control others, either now or in the past. Instead, I've been told to pray for those who hurt me. So the answer is ultimately no, I am not a victim. Through the fourth step and beyond, I've got to resolve these issues and move on with my life. Thanks for the thoughtful question!

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I had the fortunate opportunity to meet, albeit briefly, some who actually met Bill Wilson before he died. This old timer asked Bill about alcoholism and Bill replied; being an alcoholic is not my fault, but it is my problem. So.... Take from that what you will. Have a great day!

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In the beginning yes.
Not when we know better but stubbornly continue using. I’m through with a using friend that continues to call me while drinking.

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I feel like I’m getting close to that too. I laid out some tough love yesterday and her response was that she will get sober when she’s ready, and on her terms. I told her she’s going to be the prettiest girl in the morgue.

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And no we aren’t victims. We are divorced of self pity.

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I will only answer on my behalf, I’m an alcoholic who once was a victim of childhood, teenage years and adulthood trauma. I’m also allergic to alcohol. Today, I can say I’m no longer a victim to alcohol as I’m working my program to the best of my ability. I’m learning tools to cope with my past. I’m learning how to have self care, self love and compassion for thy self. I’m in the process of rebuilding my life and have changed just about every aspect of the my life. I’m can say today I have love and compassion for all things worldly. One day at a time. Thank you for this exercise as it has helped me think about God, my new found way of life and not to forget about my old ways.
Have a blessed day filled love and happiness

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Investigating/ labeling the cause is only relevant in so far as it guides me towards solutions. Even if I am a total victim due to genetics, childhood trauma, etc. It is still MY addiction. I didn't mean to become

...become an addict when I started using, but I did. Just as diabetics must become responsible for and take ownership of their recovery, so too must addicts take ownership of and become responsible for their recovery. The cause is much less important than the solution

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We are all victims of something. If we choose to remain a victim is up to us. I choose to be in charge of my destiny, not a victim of my circumstances.

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In active alcoholism, I absolutely thought I was the victim of many things, but the program I work today means I'm not a victim anymore; I am recovered.

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This is why I love the serenity prayer so much. This prayer reaches me in a way others couldn't/didn't to express the same message. I love it so much I want to name my first daughter Serenity- but I won't because I know so many already. :rofl:

I've learned about me. I've learned stuff that I didn't realize I was capable of. So I have to do inventory. It's hard. But it's harder to live in denial. So, I choose my hard

Yes, we must pray for those who hurt us. To be more specific: good prayers.

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I agree with this 100%. We may not be responsible for what happened to us, but we are responsible for our healing.

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I hate drunk calls and texts, too.

Thanks for sharing.

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I would say no. Even if it's genetic or response to trauma we chose to pick up. There are people who struggle with the things we do and don't drink. If they can connect with church, therapy, or respond in other healthy ways to trauma or just plain life, so can we.

I get your point- but we can't expect everyone to respond the same way. That's not fair.

That's a good way to describe it.

Thanks for sharing Kevin. It sounds like you're doing the right thing. Continue to keep God first.

God bless!

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If Noone is there to pull ya out, yes. Its a trap. Say I'm Balloo from Thd Jungle Book just bouncing along a trail and WHAM! Stepped into a trap! Noone around to help. Stuck. Gonna die of starvation. Its was a natural trap, ankle got stuck between two boulders. Victim or natural occurrence? My alcoholism is a natural trap for me. At first encouraged, then accepted, then problematic, then addicted. WHAM! Trapped. Noone could help. Victim? Eh.....more a natural occurrence. Noone was there to help, Noone could stop the force of my addiction except when I hit my core final inventory, the same thing Gid gave us all to help us and we all hVe it: Cange (we all have that one way or another), Now (now is all any of us have- how does the way I remember the past affect me Now, how do my dreams of the future affect me Now. Now is all we have), and Death (we all have death in our lives, either we die completely or let certain parts of us die to let other parts luve and blossom). That was and is my final alcoholic inventory. I asked for help to change now, to let old behavior pass away (die) and now I'm alive able to close FREELY what changes to make. Victim? Or Chosen to survive? Dunno. But I do know I am alcoholic and wi do my best to watch out and not step into that trap. Peace out. With live and gratitude.

For me personally I thought and felt like a victim for so many years, I was even a victim to myself, but when I wrote my 4th step and completed my 8th, I was freed and no longer and victim but most importantly I was freed from the bondage of self.