I’ve been actively using meth for almost two years. As a result, I of course have lost everything. I’ve been stuck in this toxic cycle for quite sometime, but I grow more tired of this life everyday. I officially have hit rock bottom. I have nothing & no one, homeless, toxic relationship, missing out on my babies life. Last week I reached out to my husband (we’ve been separated for almost 3 years) he lives on the east coast, I told him that I’m ready for him to buy her & I plane tickets. I know if I don’t get out of here I will never be able to get better. I will never get my daughter, I will lose myself to this awful addiction. We move on the 22nd of this month. I’m terrified! My husband & I have a pretty rocky relationship since the separation. We have only seen each other a like twice since then as well. I’m not sure what to expect. I’m not even sure how to feel. I’m grateful I have this opportunity to leave here so I can get me together & have my baby back. He doesn’t know quite everything, he can be judgey & critical at times about things he doesn’t understand. I don’t think I’ll be able to go to rehab obviously, I know I need some sort of plan on what I’m doing & where to start when I get there, & I honestly have no idea. This is my first time dealing with any of this, & he knows nothing about any addiction/help. I know I am gonna get into counseling as well as my daughter, but idk where else to start. Where we’re moving to is completely new to her & I so we don’t know anyone out there or anything like that. I know this is my last & only chance I have to get this right, & I’m scared that I’m going to fail, & it isn’t an option.
Hey, glad your here! You can do this!! Find meetings and find a sponsor, work the program and you can make it. Those that don't suffer this illness have such a hard time understanding what we go through. I've been separated for dome time and she never understood me either. For me, working the program is the only way to beat it! I tried many times without it and always went back out. Find some sober friends to talk to, and people you can reach out to when things are bothering you. There are many of us here, reach out anytime!! Wishing you the best!
Why can't you go to rehab when you get there?
The chaos does calm it takes time. Just as Joe said it's important to have a sober community. We are here and don't be afraid to reach out.
Hi Brittany. You are doing the right thing by moving yourself alway from your current chaos. My only fear for you is that with little to no professional help when you get there, that little devil will entice you to find it in your new town. I hope for you and your daughters sake you go to counseling everyday for the first 30-90 days if residential treatment isn't an option. Whatever you do, don't waste your time trying on your own.