I had to take a mental health day off from work. I feel like this job/career I have been at for almost 14 years really brings so much unhappiness to my life. Unfortunately, I do realize a lot of that is on me and that my perspective, keeping to my side of the street, working my program or lack there of has a big impact on my happiness at this position. I am at this internal cross road on whether to stay or go. I am scared of change and failure and I think that is what has kept me here this long. I really am a creature of habit and have a hard time breaking cycles....obviously as I am an alcoholic, lol.
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I'm sorry.
That's tough. Have you pondered a potential Plan B? Maybe just exploring ideas could light a spark, knowing you have a steady job and don't HAVE to make any changes, but could have fun envisioning yourself elsewhere. Then if you think of something that actually sounds like it could be a real possibility, you can spend your free time doing some deeper research that might turn into an actual plan? Who knows. Never hurts to simply explore. I hope things turn around for you, whatever that may look like. 
You deserve happiness, taking a day off for yourself is necessary. Pray maybe I do. I have a problem with em drinking too.
Thanks for the reply, you have given me some ideas to think on. I do somewhat have a plan B, as I recently started a small personal training business and now have a couple clients. But I do training as a side gig until I find my niche and what I am good at. Going into a new field after almost 15 plus years in the security industry is incredibly scary. Not sure I will be good at anything else...
Mental health days are important. Good job recognizing you needed it. I'm sorry you seem to be at a crossroads. Never fun...but I highly doubt you will have a problem being good at anything else! It's hard to do at times, but you should definitely give yourself way more credit than that! You're awesome and from this app I can tell you like to help others. Keep training on the side. Maybe that will continue to grow!
Hey Kevin, I get it or at least I sympathize. I have a lot of that fear and I think it is especially valid to be evaluating your mental health and daily fulfillment with soberiety now and for always being your number one priority. Also, with everything that happened across the world last year there has been an overall shift of people looking at employment differently. It's no longer so much "this is my career. Let me fit my lifestyle into it" it's reversed to "this is my lifestyle how can my career fit into that".
I have faith in your potential. I know for me right now still working from home is a high priority so I have more time for meetings and going to a gym instead of being in the car for an hour a 1/2 a day. If you can find a way to make it work for you I bet you will be proud of yourself and enjoy what you are doing more throughout the day 
. Sending positive prayers your way 
.
Thank you Julie for the nice reply and encouragement.
Wonderful repy Melissa, thank you!
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I'm sorry to hear that. I get in these moods sometimes where all I can think about is negative things. I think about the worst. I do that with my job slot. I've been doing what I do for 30 years and I still wonder if I'm doing the right thing.
Wow, I can relate with the waves of moods/emotions. Crazy, 30 years at the same place. 
Not at the same place but doing the same job.