Time to realize I have a problem 
That's a good start, admitting you have a problem. Now what?
If you think you need help you're probably right. Have you ever been to meetings, or detox, or treatment before?
Anyway even if you just want to share what's going on I'm sure you'll find many sympathetic ears here and some people with some great recovery experience, but if your disease has progressed enough you probably need professional help. The best decision I ever made was going to treatment. I had no chance in hell on my own.
Thank you for reaching out.
I actually just started a zoom meeting today been listening for about 2 hours. I definitely need it I've never had the help before
Man. The number of times i have done what you are doing!! Cleaning up my disaster!
But you have done the first step which is admitting there is a problem. And congrats on that!!
Well that sure is a familiar sight. I used to have a lot of empty beer bottles around. I remember when I used to drink cans of beer and I thought that I was really being wise by crushing them and getting money for them.
May I ask you, what your plan of action is to remedy this problem?