I’ve had so many “day ones” in the last 3 months, I can’t even believe it. 4-5 days is usually about as far as I make it. I’m 49 years old. I was sober, completely, from 2006 to 2014. I’ve been a drunk for the rest of my adolescence and adult life. I’m so ashamed of what I’ve allowed alcohol to do to my life. I’m drinking what I hope is my last beer as I’m typing this. Sick and tired of being sick and tired.
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Bill I hope you’re at a meeting.
Thank you friend. Yeah, it’s about time to get that started back up!
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Bill take this advice a smart person once told remember how low it took u because u have to get mad at it to hate it
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Hey bill, my name is CJ. I really connected with your post. The part about feeling shame resonated with me. It's one of the issues I have. I don't know how to put it into words but I feel like it's one of the cruelest part of being an alcoholic. The shame. Shame is a self realization of wrong doing aka our addiction but that same shame prevents us from seeking help. It's like the meanest trick I've ever heard of. And trust me I know some good ones.... No, not that kind trick 
. Sorry, I like to laugh even when it's dark out. Bill, if you don't mind sharing, what steps have you tried taking towards sobriety? If none that's totally fine. I'm just trying to get a grasp on the situation so I can best point you in the right direction. Take care brother
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Thanks, CJ. Today I’m just resting and hydrating…. I really appreciate your comments and insights.
Don't let the shame of the past keep you from making a great future for you. You can move forward and as you do that past becomes a memory.
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They say secrets and shame is what keeps us in the dark and keeps us drinking if you speak to your problem put it out there release it don’t let it hold power over you we can have 1,000,001st times but we only have one last time so please every time you feel like picking up a beer call call call AA meeting there’s always one available early morning mid morning noon if it makes you feel more comfortable have the beer in the car not open but I have it in the car but stop at the meeting before you decide to open it and if you willing and ready to throw it out when you leave I have a meeting you’ve made progress just for the day
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Thanks to all who have replied. You’ve all been here - today hasn’t been easy. It is comforting to know this is here for people struggling! I doubt tomorrow will be much easier - especially with a “drinking holiday” on the horizon. I’m fairly new to this app - pretty much a reader. So, getting this supportive response from all of you has helped an awful lot.
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33 years old and on the backside of a 5 day bender. Once I start it’s over for me, I feel a ton of regret and shame as well. As someone whose mildly successful it makes me feel weak and embarrassed. I can’t even look at my phone and see the nonsense I said to people. Thanks for sharing Bill.
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Exactly what I feel, all the time