This is hard. I love recovery. I love how I feel and interact with life. But it hurts so much when it feels like no one wants to truly stand by my side in it. I have a day clean and I hope to get more- but the feels are not in a good place. I just moved to LA/CA 5 mos ago and am severely alone. IDK
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If they don't want to stand by your side then surround yourself with people who will. Those people who refuse to stand by your side are only people that don't have your best interests in mind. Laying healthy boundaries can be challenging but it's also necessary if we want to have a shot at recovery. LA is flooded with recovery. If you haven't tried it, find an AA meeting close by. If you have tried it and had a bad experience which happens try another one. Then another if necessary. There are great meetings with great people with great recoveries. Keep searching you'll find it. You can't do it alone. If you can't find an in-person meeting download the Zoom app and attend online meetings. You can get a list of online meetings that meet every hour if not half-hour. Moving can be overwhelming and the best thing you could do for yourself is immediately find a community of people who are sober. This community is great also I commend you for reaching out you're already on the right foot. Keep it going you're worth it!
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This is something you can’t do by yourself but you have to do for yourself. I agree with the suggestion to hit meetings. Not only do they help your head, they provide you with people who don’t drink to spend time with. A fellowship of people just like you in all stages of recovery.
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Yeah- conditionally standing by my side is in my opinion “ignorant”. When I have relapsed I really resent the sentiment that demonstrates “you are of no value and you have to do it on your own”. The it suddenly being EVERYTHING. To me, people who can only invest in you based in their clusters of ifs and thens and the perfect alignment of the stars are in for themselves, their expectations and their ideas about and for your life. And for me, that’s not manageable.
That’s ideal, but for whatever reason, I’ve never really been able to sense acceptance or incorporation. It’s really weird. And I don’t get it, and it’s not in my head. Sure it occurs in treatment facilities, but that’s because people are actually taking the time to get to know one another. I’ve never had that dynamic in the rooms and therefore it often amplifies my feelings, and perhaps punctuates the reality. But I will always try… so I will take the suggestion. Thanks
I get that to a certain level. Sometimes I feel like i cant connect with others. Theres such a big culture and association with drinking/using and being fun. I feel it a lot as a 20 something year old, when most people my age are drinking and stuff, and its hard at times. I know a big part of it is my ptsd, but its also just akward for me at times to decline a social event or hang out because im unsure if there will be things i can deal with there. Not like the people i want to be social with are influencing me or anything, they respect my choices, but it still sucks at times. I cant go to parties or bonfires or something without knowing for sure its straight, or else i feel like im pushing myself into a risky situation. Hopefully you feel more at peace with your situation and that you can hang out with others soon
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I had to phase a lot of people out of my life when I got sober. Maybe not phase them out but put them in a different class of relationship to protect my sobriety. It’s gotta be number one. The beautiful thing was once I got into the rooms of AA I was surrounded by friends who were all striving for the same thing and it helped with my loneliness
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Same
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