Hello, This is my first time posting but I am truly struggling and just don't know what to do! I tend to tr and figure everything out on my own but this, I just can't. I am in a situation where I go to a clinic daily to get Methadone. I have been going for about 2.5 years now and while it has been very helpful for the most part, at this time in my life it seems to do much more harm then good. I am currently caught up in a horrible circle of struggle and pain and can't see how to get out of it. The very people who are suppsed to help guide and counsel me are the ones I can't open up to about my struggle and needing help because of the consequences. So i continue to silently struggle but its getting to a point where the consequences are happeinig no matter what and I simply can NOT accept them. I will completely fall apart and I dont know if/how I will recover from it. I just don't know if I should take a chance, trust my counselor and tell her of my struggle in hopes she will help guide me to help, but also risking the chance she will report me and ultimatley have my child removed from our home (I don't use around my son, i donlt neglect or ignore him, my son is beautiful happy, healthy child who is my entire world) or do i continue to struggle in silence and just wait for the inevitable shit storm to begin?
It’s not for me to tell you what to do, but I wish you well. I can say that honesty always ends up being the best thing for me. Talk to people you trust. Meditate. Be safe 
Maybe find a qualified source that you can open up to anonymously……I had a similar situation.People that were supposed to be there to help me while I knew that opening up to them would only put me in jeapordy.To be honest with you,I felt targeted and trapped-And somewhat still do to this very day.I am around to talk with anyone if it can be of help.There is also a site called 7 cups….You might look into it.
thank you for your response. Nice to know someone else can relate to the sad fact of not being able to ask for the help we need because the people supposed to help will turn around and use what is said against us. I will look into 7 cups, I never heard of it`
I am checking it out myself.While me opening up would not technically have legal or family ramifications,it is still very touchy stuff.I just feel like it needs to be done anonymously with a qualified,caring person-And I hope the same for you.
While I'm not Mr.Qualified-I tend to be a pretty caring person.Please reach out to me if you feel like you need someone to chat with and know it stays there.If I can't find that,I should be the one offering it.
Honestly, I wouldn't tell your counselor too many details which is unfortunate. When it comes to minors there are loopholes if they even sense an inkling the child is at risk. Sorry to say it, but it's true.
My heart breaks for you. If you're not ready to seek counseling in risk of losing your son have you thought about detoxing and/or an IOP? IOP does require regular visits but should allow you handle your normal business. Tap the sober help (lifesaver) icon to view the listings.
Thank you all for taking the time to respond. Even just being able to open up and be honest does give me some relief.
That’s a bad way to be u have to trust in some one I felt the same in you got something in your diatom your probably not thinking. Right try a pastor see what he says get back with me on that I no some cool girl in calf who wood help” peace”
Please do not let it linger. That will not end well. Satan wants you to feel isolated and alone. He is the accuser and wants to steal, kill and destroy and secrets and drugs are some of his tools. Please get it out in the light where darkness can not comprehend it. If nothing changes then nothing change. Are you familiar with Celebrate Recover?