Sometimes I feel really silly or judged in AA. I dont go consistently and Im trying to get a better routine of it. I recently reached out to get a temporary sponsor and got a number but I told the group Im 528 days sober and they all kind of looked confused as to why I would need a sponsor. They didnt object to me having one, and the congratualted me. I think it might just be my anxiety telling me they judged me. I feel lame for asking for a sponsor now a year and a half into my sobriety. I think it will be helpful to have someone help me through the steps but I dont know jaja. Ive heard the term "sodriedty" or something. When you stay x amount of time sober but really if you dont work the steps it doesn't help as much. What do you all think?
I think that alcoholism never dies it just waits for a moment of weakness ... so if someone feels like they need a sponsor it's good to ask for one !
Not to say judgment might not occur occasionally but most often it's our own mind feeding us self prejudice. The steps and a sponsor are always helpful. Don't doubt the need. Doesn't mean you won't work the steps multiple times or go through various sponsors... After all they're like us too. Keep up the good work.
I’ve learned over the years, that the judging that I think other people are doing is really just me judging myself. The best piece of advice that I received that really stuck with me and really helps when I’m having a weak social moment, is that I’m really not as important as I think I am. That might sound bad, but it’s really not. Learning that I’m not the center of everyone else’s attention has really helped in my recovery.
Michelle, perfectly stated.
Your feelings are from your own thoughts. Feelings are the main reason any of us ever used. I used to have issues with speaking in front of others, social anxiety from being emotionally scarred in school. Gay kid, small redneck town, called names often & outcast... that whole story. So I'm very conscious of myself around others and when I speak. Many people spend their time thinking about themselves so not thinking about you to the point where they judge you. That's mostly you bringing up those feelings of judgement and feeling silly - which is a feeling of not being as "good" as others. "They can tell a story right, mine comes out all stupid." Or "I feel stupid talking about this subject". It's all self-defeating thoughts. Going to meetings and sharing is like anything else, If you go more regularly you will get used to it. When I started my thought was I am not like these people! So yes, people like that maybe judging EVERYONE in the room, But that's just because they are in denial. Because I realize quickly I was more like them than anyone else I knew! But yes like the other person said, A good way to think of it is "why do I think I'm so important that these people are worried about what I'm saying or how I'm saying it?!" That is something that a counselor said to me once. When I go to meetings there's usually at least one thing that really hits home. Believe me, something you say is probably something someone else in the room needed to hear that day!
Everyone works a different program. No one is perfect. If you reach out and ask for a sponsor I don’t think anyone will think bad of you. You do what you have to do to stay sober. I know I couldn’t do it alone. I have 2 sponsors. I don’t talk to them that often. I do go to meetings. Do you hang with sober people? It hard to get positive reinforcement from people that aren’t in the program. Let the true feelings out. Find a support group of sober ladies. My opinion. Good luck
Honestly fuck what anyone has to say about you. Stay true to yourself speak your mind and trust in your program. If they judge thats their shit. We don't stay sober working about other peoples shit.
True
I have a lot of people around me that are sober or are conscious of my sobriety and respect it. I think the whole everyone works it different is true. We all have our stories, and while we all want the same goal of sobriety, its not a one size fits all. Thank you for your words
Thats very true. Your words really resonated with me.
Yes that is a good point
Thank you