Sober GoalšŸŽ‰

Was it easier to take a "break" from drinking or to set a goal of "forever"?

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Wow! This is great Jeff. It's always good to do/be better than we expected. I am glad you're doing this long term.

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What an awesome question. There is an on going argument around the tables. One side suggest we can't say we are going to stay sober forever. We don't have a :crystal_ball:, life is not of our design, blah, blah, blah... Hehe. The other side which I have come to believe is. My goal is to stay sober forever. I can achieve that "one day at a time" for me one day at a time is manageable. Idk it is a lofty goal, but worth pursuing.

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Huh interesting question and Jason is right there is a big debate arsonist the tables of AA. But here is the thing or here is the way Ot was taught to me (21 years and a day ago) My goal has nothing to do with drinking and driving which trust me I did a lot of. My goal was not to learn to live sober. I sat at the table to put the fire out that was my life. I needed to address the reason I drank and drugged daily not the fact that I drank and drugged daily. Not drinking and drugging for a day at a time just cleared the mind so I could figure it out. Just so happens along this journey I found that drinking and drugging was just a symptom of a much larger problem. The problem was my thinking so my question to you is the fact that you are debating forever hmmmmm maybe just maybe that thinking is a bigger problem. I guess if I were you Iā€™d just not drink and not think. Do the next RIGHT thing in front of you daily and watch what happens.

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Forgive the spelling fat fingers are a result of good sober living :laughing::grin::laughing::grin::laughing:

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Set a goal for forever

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Iā€™m learning a break leads to a bender for myself...

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Just speaking for myself here but there is no such thing as taking a "break" from drinking. It is quite simple for me, If I drink I will die. It is not a question of if but when! Therefore I have chosen to set this particular goal for a lifetime but in reality I can only take it one day at a time. Somedays I have to break it down to one hour at a time, even one minute at a time! :metal:

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Living in today one day at a time Anything is Possible

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I think the ā€œforeverā€ word causes a lot of relapse because it is too finite and overwhelming . For me , it was just about not drinking today and going to meetings in the beginning . It has to be a gradual lifestyle change in my opinion vs a dramatic declaration that only might be adhered to for a few days .

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If that works for you then it works. I believe life and death are in the power of the tongue. So if I want/need to accomplish it I will speak it. I will get up daily expecting it to happen. Personally, I find nothing wrong with expecting/believing/knowing will spend the rest of his/her day being sober.

I know many disagree with me. But if they knew my bloodline and what I had to endure as a child and being a rape victim they probably wouldn't discredit my belief on how anyone can and should expect to be sober the rest of their lives.

There was a lot of hurt I had to let go of and trust Jesus to take care to let go of drinking and know that I deserve a better life. More importantly, I want to give my children, nieces and nephews, grandchildren, and future generations something better than I had.

Hi. Great insights. I agree that instead of trying to make sober the goal to get to the root of the problem. I can't speak for everyone because I don't know every case, but every person I know who drinks or drank had this curse passed down generation to generation or there was something that happened to them and they were trying to erase the pain.

It messed me up knowing most of grandparents' brothers and my dad lost their life to alcohol. Some days I still cry about it. It took me a long time to forgive myself because my dad lost his life drinking and driving (single car accident). I think I didn't try hard enough. I didn't pray enough.

So, yes, if we can get to the root cause it'll help. Not just one person but an entire family.

It's all good. :joy::joy: My fat face hangs up on people all the time.

That's good. Solid answer. You intend to this long-term. I'm proud of you for making a healthy decision.

That's common. I'm glad you learned this; and are making decisions from experience. :blush:

I like this. :clap:t5::clap:t5: I love when people make things plain. My favorite saying is "make it plain."

I agree 100%.

That's totally fair and a good assessment. There are some things in my life that are gradual changes, too. Ex: I need to lose weight. Instead of picking up a dad diet I make healthier choices.

This works for me because I am using a diet to lose weight. What happens at the end of the diet? I gain the weight back because I didn't learn a new lifestyle in the process. So I am destined to repeat the cycle.

Now, I look for healthier options. It's rather hard for me to consume whole fruits and veggies daily because I don't really care for them. But they taste better in a smoothie. So I drink smoothies daily. Smoothies also give me the opportunity to add collagen and liquid vitamins. This way I am implementing better food goals for weight loss; and then maintain a healthy weight when I reach my goal while giving my body what it needs.

The simplest way Iā€™ve heard it explained , is that if you have ever questioned your relationship with alcohol , you probably need to stop drinking . Normal drinkers donā€™t have the same conversations in their heads that problem drinkers have . Society wants us to hold on to alcohol until our lives are wrecked so itā€™s hard to give it up (also is addictive substance ).

What a fantastic thread. Every entry makes sense to me. All of us contribute to the conversation creates a like minded fellowship that never gets old for me. Very kool, thanks all!