Sober 2 1/2 years, living with my wife who is an active alcoholic is pure hell. I am constantly struggling with if I should let her go. I have ben going to both Al Anon and AA for the past year to work on myself but the situation with her makes it so fucking hard. We have 3 awesome kids together and all I can think of is the best for them. Anyone out there in a similar situation with being in recovery and dealing with a active alcoholic partner?
I personally recommend counseling. Asking a bunch of people who only have a brief explanation of you situation if you sho I ld leave may get you horrible advice. Go to a marriage counselor. If she won't go with you go alone.
2 Likes
I am going to a marriage counselor but as we all know the alcoholic never has a problem. It is like a waiting game for her to hit rock bottom. It is extremely hard because she begged me for years to stop drinking and now the roles are completely reversed. I found out she had an affair and that was the end of my drinking. She has progressively gotten worse since then 2 and 1/2 years ago. She is trying to lye and deceive the wrong person I know the game all to well.
Does she care about her situation? If she doesn’t want to be better for herself and the family, you might beed distance. If she does, some intense inpatient therapy for her might be best. But she has to see how much damage she is doing and care 
Which is pretty dang hard when you can drink away your problems.
If you are willing to fight for your marriage then do as long as you can. If and when you hit the end you will know you did all you could.
I really don’t think she does care about her situation, I think she is content. I have thought about distance but she tells me she will take the kids whenever she goes. If it were not for the kids I would have no problem with distancing from her. She could definitely use some in patient therapy but she doesn’t believe she has a problem.
I mean.... she can say she can take the kids, but a few videos of her drunk and acting crazy is going to make a judge seriously question her ability to have then if she didn’t get help. Fathers aren’t overlooked as a parent any more especially when mom has a problem.
Doesn’t seem like you want it to come to that and would prefer her to get some help, maybe thats could help, taking a video of one if her drunken episodes and showing uit to her and saying, this is what our kids are seeing and have as a mother. Or it won’t... but moms don’t get to just snatch the kids and leave any more, courts favor both parents as long as they can both provide a good situation.
Time to call in family help and stage an intervention lol
You, Mick, cannot fix her. You cannot argue, scare, or talk her into quitting. She will like all of us have to hit her bottom for her to know she's ready. Whatever the consequences. Pray for her and yourself and you do the right thing for you.
1 Like