So this weekend is my boys birthdays! Today is my youngest sons 3rd birthday... and by the grace of God I get to see him.
Tomorrow is my oldest sons birthday, and I am not invited. I haven’t seen my older 2 kids in a while, even before my relapse on May 3rd, 2021. My family claims they just aren’t ready, but that doesn’t sit well with me.
I am struggling badly with it. Especially knowing my entire family will be with him as well as my husband. I hold a lot of anger in this regard. Especially with my husband not being his father. I feel like that is wrong of me. But I can’t control the negative within. I don’t know how to deal with this sober. How to be an adult about it and how to not allow it to hurt.
I can’t reach out to my sponsor because she is at her mothers funeral. This is the worst weekend I have had in a long time. Sitting home in isolation while my family and husband enjoys time with my kids.
Any suggestions!!
I'm sorry, Maggie. I know it may not help for this weekend- but have you considered getting the legal system's help?
I am currently working on it. I have been for a while, but unfortunately I had to step back because on may 3rd, 2021 I had relapsed after almost a year sober. This time around I’m in IOP... meetings, therapy for mental health and all... gaining stability again before I go back to court. It just sucks emotionally!
I know it sucks. I'm wishing you the best.
Thank you! Think I understand the reasoning. Hard to swallow. But God has had me this long.
I am going to surround myself with meetings followed by a trip to hocking hills.
Sorry to hear all your pain and suffering. I know what you’re going through I went through the same thing many years ago. Needless to say I had to take care of myself first before I could see my kids. And that really sucked and it really hurt. I couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t see my kids. I didn’t think my drinking problem had anything to do with it. But guess what that was the main reason I couldn’t see my kids. I had to make a decision between my kids And my drinking. Guess what I picked I picked my kids. I got sober for my kids but after being in sobriety for a while that changed. I was doing this all for me. I know it sucks that you’re not gonna be able to see your kids but your husband well and the rest of your family. The one thing you have to remember is who brought this on. Once you figure that out things will start changing for you trust me it did for me. If I can do it so can you and I know you have all kinds of negative within you about all this. But I’m gonna give you a little bit of Toughlove right now. Get over it.Think about everything. Your husband didn’t do this and your family didn’t do it either. So think about it. And by the grace of God you will get to see your kids once again.
Thank you! I actually get it. I needed your words. I have been doing this same pattern for 20 years now. Not respecting or even attempting to acknowledge the pain and trauma i have brought on my kids and my family. Thank you for that!
You’re welcome that’s what we’re here for to help one another.
What is your drug of choice
Drugs of choice- opiates, crack/cocaine, alcohol