So I'm 16 months clean and sober

Recovery
#1

So I'm 16 months clean and sober and I'm ready to start dating again. There is such a stigma about being in recovery. Once I mention my past to a woman they run for the hills. People are so judgemental. Want to find a woman who knows the struggle. Where do I start?

3 Likes
#2

We do have a dating section. You can check that out if you'd like.

I know how rough it can be to find a sober mate. It ain't easy. Continue to search and I'm sure you'll find the right woman.

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#3

I get it. Like Amanda mentioned, there is a dating section on Loosid and I would expect that the majority of people on here are sober or at least sober curious. Might be a good place to start, and at the very least they’ll probably be less judgemental than the general population. It bugs me how some people write off those in recovery because of their past. We all have a past, and most of the time when we’ve overcome demons like addiction, we come out the other side that much stronger and a more whole person because of it. You’ll find the right one along your path, who won’t judge you or your past and accept you for not jsut who you are, but also for who you were.

#4

I get what you both are saying about writing people off who have a past with alcoholism. But to be honest I always said I would never. I know it sounds heartless. But I had to protect myself.

I love my dad. But growing up my brothers, mom, and I went through a lot because of the choices he made. All his poor choices were a result of alcoholism. It was so bad my brothers and I almost ended up in juvenile detention and foster care because we had to protect our mom from our dad. We were only 13, 14, and 16.

My dad is the reason why I couldn't be with someone who drink/drank because I was terrified of being with someone like my dad.

I'm not trying to write anyone off but I couldn't live in fear.

This could be why some choose to write people off. I'm not saying it's right or always right but the reasons are valid.

#5

Tried the dating here on the app but unfortunately there aren't many women in my area on here. Just gotta be patient I suppose. Not something that comes easily for me. Ughh.

#6

I'm sorry Tom. As we grow there'll be more options.

Do you attend meetings or sober events in your area?

#7

You can also try to find a date in a meeting

#8

I go to meetings but very few females attend and Covid has made things more difficult.