So, I will start by saying that the thought of going to an AA meeting gives me anxiety! I was actually court mandated to go to one when I was a teenager. Further, my father, and stepmother were AA people when I was growing up. That being said, with the situation that I find myself in, the old adage that men make about their wives hold true for me pertaining to alcohol. I can't live with it, and I can't live without it! Where does that leave me? Answer: In a really bad place. I an 48, and have literally been trying to kick this awful death sentence to the curb since my mid 20's. My alcoholism, and unsuccessful attempts at gaining sobriety, kills me a little more each day! I can maintain sobriety for differing periods of time. I am so happy when I am not drinking/hungover everyday. But, I always allow myself to get pulled back in by my enemy mind! They say that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results. Can confirm!
There are other programs out there, Smart recovery comes to mind. On line meetings work for some. You are in a spot where quitting is the best solution, find a way to do so.
I was so apprehensive about aa. My father finally begged me to go. I begrudgingly agreed to 1 meeting and went with the sole goal of getting him off my back. I’m 340 days sober. AA changed everything. It works if you work it.
It’s not religious. That was my resistance. It has nothing to do with church or organized religion. The god/higher power for me is truly the fellowship of my home group. Or at least that’s what it started as. Because I prayed to what kept me from having the first drink. And that was it. So AA was my higher power.
Thanks Craig! That helps.
Linda, you have no idea what I think it takes. If I did not have young kids.......
If you do go to AA, you don't have to speak. Listen to others' stories. If someone says something that really grabs you, follow up after the meeting with this person. Maybe you can arrange to meet.