Since the pandemic I’ve drank almost a or half pint of liquor a day and I have crippling anxiety now and I need to stop. I’m also a bartender and it can be really hard. But I want to be a good partner for my girlfriend and eventually a good father. Losing my mind right now.
I don’t get violent and it hasn’t ever affected our relationship. But one day it’s going to kill me and sadly sometimes that isn’t enough for me to just stop and that scares the shit out of me.
I am with ya. I was drinking a fifth a day. Working from home is very hard because it makes it to easy to day drink and get away with it. If you can’t go to rehab I would recommend tapering down to quit.
I'm also going through something similar. Anytime I feel anxious I drink. And then it always makes it worse. My heart has been racing and I haven't been able to sleep or eat. I finally got some rest last night. The moral hangover is always the worst for me.
Once the anxiety comes on I start sweating and my heart beats so fast and hard it shakes the bed and I sleep for maybe 45 minutes a night. I cant keep living like this 
Ughhh it might be the worst feeling in the world. We should wake up feeling good in the morning...and alcohol completely ruins that.
I was sober for a long time and started drinking again during pandemic and my niece committed suicide. Im scared too. My drinking is increasing and that scares me. I can down a bottle of wine and not even feel drunk. Sending positive energy to everyone.
Hey Andy how are you today? I use to drink a bottle of vodka daily and I thought I was dying when I finally quit.
That’s tough Andy and I can fully relate to the misery of anxiety /panic attacks . While there are a FEW sober bartenders , I don’t think that career choice is serving you well if you recognize that alcohol is a problem and want to stop . Detox /treatment might be the best option so you can detox safely and they can help with the mental health side of things as well . If nothing changes , nothing changes . If you feel like you are stuck in a toxic cycle , you need to get out of it in order to help yourself in my opinion . Trying to get sober as a bartender would be like asking a lifelong meat eater to be vegan while working at a steakhouse ... not very likely to happen .
All my friends are in night life. I had super hard time staying sober. I have been 2 weeks sober, miss my friends and nightlife fun. I need to figure that out. I can only imagine how tough that could be, but I have heard of sober bartenders, it's not impossible
I can attest to the fact that once you achieve a long time without a drink it only gets worse and more out of control if you relapse
I had ten years clean and relapsed
It wasn’t pretty and for years I had more clean dates than a house maid
Thank God today I am clean and sober
Never stop trying to sober up
Thank God for second third and fourth chances
I would of done anything to get high
Don’t rule out detox and or rehab. I tried everything before rehab and 7 months later I’m loving life!
Hope you got help . I went through the same thing drinking a fifth a day or more . Loss of a job amplified it . I have been sober for over 4 yrs now , it IS possible and yes I loved the bars and that whole scene even before I was legal lol . Long time of partying for sure