Does anyone have experience in being in a relationship with a person who still drinks? I'm newly sober and I'm afraid being in this relationship will make me go back to my old ways. I love my boyfriend but he can be a bad influence for me. This is my first post and I appreciate any answers or advice.
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Hey Brooke, clarify what's most important to you, decide who you want to become, and discover the systems and processes that work best for you to accomplish those things. Once you achieve wholeness and self-mastery, no one can influence you without your consent. 
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Your priorities will dictate this decision, but I think you’ve already answered your own question. You’re just looking for someone to give you the “okay.”
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I tried it for six years and it didn't work out she started using again or they would stop and then I would get them start to use again and then it came to the point where we almost lost our son he's safe now she's gone I wasn't trying to be short or rude but that's the gist of my experience and everyone I've ever ever known unless your partner also agrees to quit drinking or using and sticks to it both of you.
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Going through this same shit right now.
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It aint going well btw. Lol.
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Thank you for sharing your experience. It really gave me some insight, I chose to end the relationship, because I really don't see him changing. I don't have any children rignt now. But you really helped me see how my choices now could impact my longterm.
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Yeah same haha I ended the relationship. It wasn't worth it anymore.
Good decision. It has to be about you at this point.
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I have the same problem, but I told my girl that I have to do me right now. I love her but it's toxic for me. My sobriety is the most important part of my life. Sobriety and my kids. It might hurt them and if they don't understand then their being selfish and you don't need him anyway. Do you girl.
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You're absolutely right….the situation is a timebomb for someone who's newly sober. He has to do the changing, and do it for himself and because he wants to. It sucks loving someone who's caught in the grips. I feel your pain. But that saying, “he'll get you drunk before you get him sober” really is true. Honestly. Talk to others as much as you can about this. Oh, and pray. Hopefully, it'll give you the strength to make positive choices and good decisions, even if they're extremely painful and difficult to make.
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Yep, I quit drinking 3 years ago in an attempt to save my marriage. 6 months into my sobriety I find out she was having an affair with a friend. It completely broke me. I still maintained my sobriety through it all.. She still drinks every night. Its super annoying. I gave up begging her to quit.. people have to want to quit on their own.. im currently in a loveless marriage of only convenience. I almost divorced her but we make great parents and it would financially destroy both of us… watching her drink every night used to bother me until I finally gave up on being hurt by it.. I will say, she is a fantastic mother.. just terrible lover. Her drinking and wanting to socialize with her drinking friends creates awkward situations…
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Being in early recovery you need as much support as you can get ..based on my experience being around someone that is acively drinking is a trigger
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I'm so sorry you have to experience that. But thank you for sharing, all the best to you
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Yes. Nothing I threatened made a difference…then her got a DUI so he has to stop drinking too. I feel it's the only way it was going too so. Keeping busy with whatever I need to get done and I smoke weed for depression and anxiety/ptsd which helps. Also I love soda water, or soda too soon the carbonation from soda water helps kick the craving…
If you want to stop your Addiction you have to stay away from the things and people that hinder you to do it
I know it's not easy- but we shouldn't build relationships with anyone who's a bad influence.
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I have had 2 past relationships with women who still used once I had gotten clean. My ex-wife and also my sons mom. Both times I would do good for awhile but every time would end up using again. Its the most difficult thing to do I believe for an addict to stay clean while with a person still using. I'll pray for you to have more strength then I was able to have. My advice would maybe put things on pause with them till either they quit or you figured a way to not let it trigger you or give you cravings.
Break up with him and go out with me please.
Doesn't Work. Sorry, no sugar coating.