Relapsed. A month ago. Gave into two shots last night.. Feeling like garbage today so I flushed my shit, broke my rigs and pipes and I’m going to try to jump back on the wagon TODAY! I’m uneasy to say the least. Please send some healing vibes my way.
Thank you 
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You got this!
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I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been where you are. I’d dump out liquor. Give away wine or beer. Congratulate myself and then relapse a day or week later.
What worked for me was getting into a program of recovery. There are many to choose from. Some folks have very strong and vocal opinions about them.
I don’t. I just want you to be free of your addiction so that you can enjoy a fulfilling life without guilt and shame.
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Annnnd here come the water works.. 
Thank you Craig.. I am pretty alone in this, and have a hard time admitting defeat, asking for help or opening up.. I guess coming here was my best effort for now.. I appreciate your kind words 
We all try to do this alone. Guess what? It doesn’t work.
It took me 25 years to get 30 days. Throw away your preconceived notions. Go to a meeting. They’re free. They’re everywhere. They’re anonymous. They save lives. Annnnd, you’re never alone at a meeting. And once you join and get some phone numbers of women who have what you want, you’ll never be alone again.
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Keep trying. Try new things. For me the most help comes from people I don’t know. From there experiences and in that I’m not ashamed or embarrassed cuz we’ve all been working on trying to get and stay sober. You took the first step so make it a solid one and then look towards the next one. Hit me up anytime I’m swimming wit my daughter but I’ll check in in a bit. Keep your head up
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I’ve gotten high everyday for a month now, more than a month.. I can’t ever seem to stay clean, but I was going long stretches without, and that alone felt good.. it’s when I get to using daily or shoot dope that I feel like garbage (emotionally and mentally) shit physically too sometimes.. a few hours without (15 to be exact) and I’m already emotional af! Crying like a baby.. Not really even sure why…I have my kids, I have my own place, car, job, things haven’t spiraled out of control (yet) I could tell myself everything is fine, because to the outside world, even ppl close to me, have no idea that I’ve relapsed to a point of getting high everyday, but I guess I’ve never been good at lying to myself and that’s why getting high comes with so much guilt.. idk..
thanks for listening..
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My gf/I’m not exactly sure what we are right now is 6 years clean. The stories she tells of active addiction seem impossible to me. One day at a time you can put that shit behind you. I sure would recommend detoxing under the care of a dr and attending as much NA as you possibly can.
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I’ve got some horror stories for sure.. I can’t imagine having 6 years clean AND sober, cuz of course meth and alcohol (and pretty much anything) are my DOC. I am always in awe of ppl with multiple years clean and/or sober. Im still stuck in a place where it’s hard to believe in permanent sobriety.
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@craig
It can be done. It’s hard. But it’s worth it. Get in a program. Get a sponsor. Don’t procrastinate. It’s the single most important thing you can do in your life. If you don’t get clean and sober you’ll never be all that you can be for your kids or anyone else.
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All you’ve got to do is get through today. Worry about everything else tomorrow
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Holly... be PROUD of urself for dumping the dope, breaking ur rigs & pipes. HeLloooh... thats a HUGE step forward- ur trying. We have ALL been there. Myself included. And technically, ya know all we can have is 24 hrs of sobriety a day. Craig's words are dead on-- you r NOT alone. You r NOT the only person who has relapsed or will in the future. Just stay truthful to yourself... and what works for you-- and u can be free... one minute at a time, one hour, one day. And then tomorrow's a new day. Baby steps if u have to. If u need to talk-- message me.
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Good Morning Holly. Welcome to day 2.
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