Please take the time to read this, because this may be my last poem. Thanks 
Learning to cope with this pain..
Learning to not drive myself insane..
Learning and still learning.
And hurting..
Hurt from the outside..
Which reflected a vision of my hurt back..
Back inside..
Inside of my lost home..
Inside of a place I used to know..
Looking at someone that I used to know..
That someone I used to know that used to..
Used to be me..
Used to make me feel like I wasn’t clean..
I would cry my tears out..
Tell myself it will be alright..
But I just form back into the ash formation..
Feels like I have died more than once..
And came back alive with a place in the sun..
A place in the only place of a broken home..
My broken home..
All broken and broke and..
I have spoken to myself in so many ways..
Which somehow damaged my brain..
I shake and I stir..
I replenish my anger..
I get over..
Somehow I don’t know how I keep getting..
Getting drunk over..
Over the bottle of my saved tears..
Over the bottle of my life that was..
Swimming across the ocean..
I look left and right as if I were crossing the street..
I play tag along the side of my mind..
But how?
I can’t even see myself anymore..
I can’t even go home anymore..
Home where all of my shelves of my life have been..
Torn down from the ocean..
Torn down by the big huge gaping rivers..
Making flow back into the center of my lost dreams..
Into the home that showed me to be strong..
I guess I was wrong..
I was just a person in my eyes..
Why?
Why?
I want to just die at times..
Down into my sorrows..
Drink my life away and put me into my..
My own prison gates..
Alone… Alone is all I am..
Stoned… Stoned to the bone of a cold sheltered home..
With people that I don’t know..
Broken as I can be..
Shipping away and moving away..
Into a far far far away place..
Into a far far away dream stace..
I dance to myself..
I dance by myself..
I look for some help..
Taking me underneath a box of..
A box of a box of a box of a box..
Of a box of empty shelves..
That made me go through hell.
I lived in hell alongside the pain..
Burning me alive..
Burning me as if I had no life..
I try..
I try..
I cry…
I reply..
Reply or reply or just lie down on my bed..
Where there is nothing but Roses that are dead..
I know there is something out there for me…
I know that people know that I am not just a freakshow..
I can go on and on.
Until I run out of tears to cry out of..
Until this bottle of liquored up tears are gone..
Longing..
Shipping..
Longing..
Longing..
Longing..
Long for a long time of a long..
Sigh I try to reapply..
What I learned into me..
What my brain has told me..
I will make it out alive..
I will consume more if..
If that’s what it takes to make me stronger..
Whipping me a cold shot of..
Ice cold sadness..
Placed and drank..
One bottle at a time..