Thank you all. It’s good to hear from other people who understand. This journey isn’t an easy one. We can do it.
I love and respect your courage my friend
Don’t feel defeated I can’t count how many times I relapsed before I got it right now 13 years clean
Just get to a meeting talk with your sponsor do service work ect
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New beginnings are often disguised as bad endings
Keep quitting, you'll get better at it.
How are you doing today?
If you ever need to talk 
Having the opportunity to still right the ship is a gift!!
We all have our hiccups, but clearly you still have the will to be sober! It doesn't matter how much time you have sober, you have today and that is amazing.