No hope alone.
there are lots of people on here so you don’t have to be alone. Hope is a tricky thing, but life always brightens back up once you get past the dark spots.
Funny thing about hope is it is hard to kill. It can be hidden behind a mountain of fear, or stress, or grief. I know you feel like hope is gone but I promice it isnt.. how do I know ? You reached out. Those without hope have no strength to look for help. Make sure to reach out. Make it to a meeting or two. You are not alone, it only feels like it because you can't see others in the dark. You can do this, even though it looks impossible.
i Used to feel the same way 
have you considered going to treatment?
Hi @remy89970. I'm sorry you feel that way. I used to feel that way, too. Have you thought about meetings?
Treatment, meetings, these gals are right. Professional help and fellowship with the community are the best tools I've had by far.
I will hope for you with you. If you could just change two things what would they be Remy?