Needing to quit. I have BPD and I’m also on the spectrum and I feel like I need to drink for every feeling and every occasion and to be social and “normal”. It’s really hard and I keep destroying my life every time I drink.
2 Likes
Welcome to sobriety. Life gets better one day at a time.
Are you taking meds for BPD? How’s your overall health? Do you eat healthy? Exercise?
Think about going to AA meetings? Zoom meetings?
I am not on BPD meds no. The side effects really mess me up but I am considering them again. I was about to start exercising, I also have fibromyalgia which I drink due to the pain as well but it just causes more flare ups. And I don’t really feel comfortable joining AA because it’s based off religion so I am looking into alternative groups.
I see. Your on the right path. I saw an interview by Oprah with Lady Gaga. Might be something to check out as it was eye opening on mental health and physical health based on her on experiences.
AA for me isn’t religious at all. It’s up to you to become religious or not. I’m not religious but I’m now practicing spirituality. I have a divine power greater then myself who is guiding my new found life. I call this force God. It’s changed my life. I totally gave into the idea that I’m powerless over Alcohol, drugs, tobacco, caffeine, sex, anything that would take away the feelings that I didn’t know how to handle. Now I can say I’m content or at peace with my emotions. Sometimes I cry, laugh, get mad, stew on others or even understanding the feeling of being tired, hungry, and lonely to name a few.
As for alternative groups, smart recovery, NA, life ring and recovery drama( which offers insight on the four noble truths of Buddhism).
I hope you a safe and sober journey. Find what your looking for. And become open minded about the endless possibility that are out there.
1 Like
Stay busy and hang with good people. You are a most wonderful person with a lot to give!!!
Take it one minute at a time at first. I’m 44 days clean and sober and can tell you that although it doesn’t feel like it - it truly gets better one day at a time as long as you are committed to recovery and putting in the work. Stay strong and stay in touch! Keep reaching out 
I believe in you!
I am also considered to have bad and I feel as if I have to drink for every thing as well. Until today I drank every single day/night.
I totally get it. For yrs I ate my problems & now I'm just needing to learn to feel without the crutch of something. I have BPD too. I don't mix medication & substances so I'm not taking prescription meds properly. We can do this tho! I believe in you! It's just 1 day at a time my friend.
Oh man, yeah. I have every anxiety diagnosis in the dang book and it does make sobriety difficult. I keep reminding myself that LIFE makes sobriety difficult for people who struggle with substance abuse (or whatever term you apply to your trials).
That helps me relate and feel comfortable at meetings, where other people have confounding factors/diagnoses/illnesses/injuries/circumstances that I don’t.
You’re not alone. We CAN do this. I have faith in you. It took a lot of strength to share this post.
Feelings, I don't let my feelings push me around, don't get me wrong , those bully feelings come knocking first thing just before I awake , pray a simple prayer, its a daily repreave contingent on your spiritual leve,l your feeling can mess up your day
Very relatable. However, I used pain pills and heroin to numb out my PTSD and severe anxiety. I’ve been sober 18 months and still learning how to cope without substances when I have to be in public and socialize.