My ex invited me on a otr driving trip. I knew I should've stayed home but I missed the idea of him. He was broken by someone else so wasn't in the same space o was. So now I'm about to sit in a bus station to go home. I wish I could be friends with him so bad because I miss the friendship but being around him makes me slip and want to use again. My heart's broken because I know I helped make him that person and it's killing me. How can I make it stop without compromising my progress.
3 Likes
Thanks it's not really him though as they say it all comes down to you and your choice's at the end of the day. I appreciate your supportive words
1 Like
Stay strong, and that wasn’t you
1 Like
So true
1 Like
You definitely got this chicky!
1 Like
I am really trying. Im trying really hard not to cry rn at a bus stop but I know I lost him. I know it's probably not the right thought process but I can not think of anyway I didn't cause it. I got mad because I expressed vulnerability I figuratively jumped off a ledge and fell face first, which turned me into an asshole
That freaking sucks. Sometimes we make mistakes. Or we slip up. Our actions impact others and it can really suck when we realize that we hurt others and/or ourselves. If we cant always rekindle or apologize to the person or ourselves, sometimes the best thing is to walk away. Even if it hurts. Your sobriety and your progress are extremly important. When we make a new life for ourselves, people who were once part of our story cant walk it out with us. Im sorry it hurts. There are people who will understand you better. That will help you stay on the path you want to go. It sucks to say that it takes time but sometimes thats what it takes. Maybe going home is the healthiest choice. Im hoping you are safe where you are
1 Like
I'm ok where I'm at just busted in the brain and trying not to relapse
1 Like
Truly though thank you so much for your words
I feel that. My ex was toxic and I already had a addictive problem and his views made it worse for me. I remember in the begining when my addiction was starting to get bad i noticed and said something to him about it. And he said no youre okay, those things are in your head, you are strong minded and can control it. But he had some issues too. How can someone be okay to admitting your gf has a addiction if you also have yours that you dont want to face? I honestly felt like I loved him. And as much as he hurt me, I didnt want to walk away. But in the end, whoever it was that was toxic, or honestly it being both. It was better to walk away, for the both of us. In the end we deserve better. And when we start thinking like that, we have to let go of things we outgrow in order to build a life we can fit and flourish in, even if at times its painful.
1 Like
True very true
Stay strong girl 
1 Like
Sometimes good people have toxic effects on each other, through no fault of either. The circumstances just aren't right. With time you might be able to rekindle your friendship, but you have to be strong in your recovery. Time and self analysis are your best allies here. Share your pain, it helps get through it. The cab of a truck is a pretty small space to share. Sounds like he may have to work out some issues as well. Prayers to both of you, and good luck.
2 Likes
Thanks I'd just as soon let it go though. He doesn't want me. Has better options and doesn't want to be honest about em. I'd just as soon move on.