My daughter gets drunk with her friends but isn’t a

Recovery
#1

My daughter gets drunk with her friends but isn’t an alcohol - she wants to go to a meeting to make friends.
What would you tell her?

#2

Most AA gatherings have "open" and "closed" meetings. Open meetings are free for anyone to attend, such as your daughter. Closed meetings are reserved for those of us that know we have a problem and closed meetings should, in my opinion, be respected.

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#3

I feel like 90% of the story is missing here

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#4

Yea, I would have to agree. Scenario seems a bit wonky to me.

#5

I’m a little lost lol

#6

The only requirement is a desire to stop....if she wants to drink and meet people that is what bars are for....

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#9

I have to say I agree with Anne. Alcoholics Anonymous is for those the drink and can’t get away from it. Yeah but it also sounds like jory He’s trying to make an excuse for his daughter to go to a meeting. One thing we have to remember is an alcoholic doesn’t have to drink with people all the time. There’s a such thing as closet drinkers. And those that drink by themselves and they don’t want others to know they are. Just like everybody else is saying as long as he respects Those that are in the meeting. And I don’t think it would hurt for her to go to a closed meeting either. Because that’s where you really get the things that you really don’t want to hear.

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#10

Yea thanks - I’m familiar with the closed meetings. I’ve often felt fortunate to have a place to go and meet new people because of my drinking problem. Too bad there’s not something similar for social drinkers.

#11

Sounds like you might be curious if she may actually be an alcoholic. I have wondered that myself.
She is doing well in college and hasn’t had any drunk driving tics. But point well taken.

#12

She’s just struggling making new friends in college. A few of her main friends have recently shunned her. I guess she’s just reaching out. I always called her my little firecracker and that’s probably part of the problem.

#13

Thanks Ben - I raised as a sober dad. I’m sure she’ll go to the bars, just turned 21. I think the drunks at the bars are a bit of a turn off for her. Not to mention that’s looking for trouble. The bars are the quickest and most obvious place to go. Too bad our society works that way. Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a place for normies to go without dealing with the consequences of drinking. Bible study and church are not her thing.

#14

Thanks Ann - that’s exactly what I told her.
I told to find an Alano clubhouse and just hang out - go to a few meetings. She has found one in her area that has a young persons group. I’m hoping she follows through.

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#15

I’m guessing there are people that smoke weed and also go to A.A meetings. It wouldn’t bother me as long as the person wasn’t promoting using and was respectful to the group. Matter of fact - we live in a world
full of pot smokers. Would it threaten your sobriety if a person attended a meeting that smoked pot but respected the group and attended sober. Perhaps that person might decide to quit using as a result of their attendance. There are many levels of “bottom”. Thanks I guess I’m ok with any sincere person attending meetings.

#16

She may be concerned that it is becoming a problem. Add to that the sober curious and straight arrow movements being a trend right now, she may be considering getting sober. Take her to an open meeting. It may save her down the road.

#17

That’s a possibility Aaron - thanks. She has a friend that she’ll check out a young person’s meeting.