My dad has always looked at my 14 year old like she was just a problem. She has a disability and could be difficult at times and he can't take it. He's extremely impatient with kids. He told me she was not welcome at his new house that is in a popular beach town. I didn't even ask to visit. He literally said she was not welcome but then is okay with family's friends kids coming over to vacation. A month ago I tried to kill myself bc I just couldn't take any more pain. My boyfriend was cheating on me w prostitutes and that kicked it off. I ran away to Florida and isolated. I slipped into a very dark place and took all the pills in my cabinet with some shots. I died and they had to give me cpr for 12 minutes. When I woke up my parents were trying to convince me to leave my 14 year old in florida w her addicted dad and allow my dad to oversee a process of getting her placed into a group home. That shit really pissed me off. He was asking me to sign the rights of my child over not knowing where she would go. It left a really bad taste in my mouth especially bc while they were staying in Florida visiting me in the hospital she again was not welcome to their hotel. They made her stay w her unhealthy dad and expected me to trust them overseeing a process of getting her placed in a foster home. I refused. At this point I survived a suicide attempt and had a different perspective on a lot of things. Now I just feel a lot of resentment. He is just a piece of shit to me now. When I talk about it they throw my suicide attempt in my face. Anyway, I hate hearing them talk and discuss my daughter. Yesterday she was being a typical teenager and I flipped out on my mom for discussing the details w my dad. I feel like he's unhelpful and it's none of his damn business what is going on w her. She tried to justify it ..(they were on the phone) my mom is here w me right now helping me recover. But like just everything that man does pisses me off. I took him trying to get her placed in a foster home an opportunity for him to get rid of her. My mom has three years left to work here in DC and he just retires in delaware. Who the hell retires in a different state before his wife? That happened a few years ago. The man hasn't worked in 10+ years. I just think it's selfish. My mom works for the federal government, basically has no place of her own to stay while she works. So she teleworks now and will need to stay w her kids to finish out her working career when they go back to in person. My dad just mooches off her. I am struggling w resentment. Any advice is welcome. I know I put them through a lot but for God sake I think I'd be more safe taking the opposite of every suggestion he has. I find him to be very stupid and I can't stand him anymore. Who the hell moves 3 hours away and sells their house that was so close to my mom's work forcing her to commute 2 hours a day and is okay w that? And my mom has no backbone I feel. She just goes along w whatever he says. I can't stand them using my daughter as something to talk about. I told her to keep her name out of his damn mouth. It's none of his business what is going on w her. Very annoying. Is he someone I need to cut off for how intolerant of her he is? She has a disability and he just treats her like shit!
I am not part of the situation and don't know all the details, so any advice I can give is in that vein. First thing I advise is seeing a therapist. They can help you work through all of this. Second, I am not saying you definitely should cut off dear old dad, but remember toxic is toxic no matter who it is. He may not be toxic to someone else, but he is like chocolate to a dog for someone else. This may be the case. If he is a trigger for relapse, then maybe you should consider distancing yourself from him until you have had time to work through some things.
Hi Sophia. I definitely recommend family counseling so you guys can get to the root(s) of each problem and begin to recover. I also suggest you speak to a professional to discuss your hurt that caused you to attempt suicide.
I hate you're going through this. My heart breaks for you. My heart would be shattered if I were in your shoes.
I want you to have a healthy life with your family.
Sophia there's nothing wrong with your daughter that love can't fix.I will pray for you both. You ever need to talk I'm here
It sounds like you want something from your parents that they do not have to give. I am so sorry for your pain and that you don’t have the support you need from your family. It is so painful when, in order to take care of ourselves, we have to step back from the people we fell closest to. I hope you are reaching out to professionals and groups where you can feel supported and grow
I read your story and its truly incredible the sense of strongness I fell when I think of you. You got this girl. It might feel like you don't and its gonna he hard but you got it. You just focus on that beautiful daughter of yours and fuck everyone else. She's all you need. I'm sorry you hurt and people disappoint you. I know first had how that feels. Your daughter is lucky to have you God sent her to the right place. If you need to talk I'm here. Good luck.
We allow people to treat us the way they do for many reasons. Fear of being alone, self esteem, and some times craziness on our part. Today I try to keep the focus on me and my recovery. I have a sister in active addiction and she treats my mother badly. Sometimes I want to tell my sister some things but I don't. She's not my responsibility. All my ducks are not in a row. So I go by some advice learned long ago.= those who live in glass houses should not throw rocks! Basically it means I'm not perfect and that I'm a work In progress.