My boyfriend is an alcoholic and I’m almost 3 years sober. We’ve been together for almost 2 years but I’m learning that perhaps I can’t continue with him if he continues his relationship with alcohol. So here I am. Seeing if sober people actually do exist.
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No relationship is worth your sobriety, in my opinion. Always here to talk if you need someone to listen 
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Thanks! I do need to talk about it. And I have 0 sober friends. I don’t think his drinking will ever make me want to drink again. He definitely doesn’t make it look appealing. But I just don’t know what to do about him. I don’t know if he’s ever going to even consider sobriety. Last week he tried and he ended up getting a seizure from the withdrawals. Got stitches in his head AND broke his shoulder
I'm really sorry to hear that. Some people just don't desire sobriety, and some people never find it. All you can do is model a sober lifestyle and hope he comes around. Other than that, this relationship may not be the best for your sobriety (based on the little information I know) at this point in time.
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Yeah. I’m beginning to feel like it’s not best for my happiness. Dating a drunk is hard. He’s never truthful. He’s never empathetic. He’s grumpy because he’s always hungover or buzzed enough to want to nap. He stumbles around and I am NEVER getting in a car with him driving again. Ever.
Like that’s basic girlfriend stuff right? Being able to get in a car with your boyfriend?
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I had to walk away from 25 years due to opioid use. It sucks but the tools are there. Sponsor, sponsoring, fellowship. Service and literature
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25 years?!? That must have taken so much bravery. And just have broken your heart! Help me understand. How did you handle having to give up on them?
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Holy moly.
Thank you for your very REAL answer. I will read it again and again. It’s true! You’re right! You can’t be in a relationship when you’re that deep in your addiction! I was that deep. I went to hospital, got arrested, DWI, all of it. But I would feel guilty leaving him. It would have meant the world to me if someone stood by me and loved me unconditionally. Shouldn’t I give him that unconditional love and help him through this? Love him at his lowest? Am I in some way enabling as well? I’m flip flopping so much. Thank you for allowing me to use you as a soundboard.
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Good Afternoon Catherine,
There is a lot to digest here, but first and foremost, we cannot control anyone.
For our own sanity, and sobriety, we need to be selfish and put ourselves first.
Work your program. Let him go. If the day comes that he asks you for help, you’ll be there. Just be careful not to slip into codependency. When you cross over from helping him, to making yourself feel better by helping him, you’ll know you’re in trouble.
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I work the program. I understand I can not control them I can only control myself. My hp works in mysterious ways. Example I am talking to some one from my home town. I graduated out of Highland.
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Haha really?!? Me too! Hornet! You understand then lol there’s like nobody sober here
A fellow Hornet. Wow. Small world
So here is my condensed take. I would suggest looking into why I am staying. Am I an enabler? Am I in a truly loving relationship? I would also examine if he would ever get sober if I stayed. Sometimes the best thing for someone is to know you love them too much to watch them kill themselves.
I was like you year’s a go and after time .I got out when I could.be safe
Alcohol withdrawals are the worst and yes you have seizures from it but they don’t last long, the next time it happens call 911 and get him to the hospital immediately and they will give him medicine to help him get rid of the alcohol in his body once and for all … He’s needs you to be there for him and to help him pull through this and no matter what happens you can always say that you gave it your all
I had to leave my husband. When I got out of jail from a DWI, he poured an ice tea sized glass of whiskey and held it in front of me. He said it's either AA or me. I chose AA. Because I just couldn't live my drunk life anymore. I loved him.He later died in a fire. He was drunk, fell asleep with a lot cigarette and burned his house down. It was tragic. But 26 years later, I am still sober, thanks to walking away and into AA.
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