Just left an NA meeting that was really good. I clearly heard something that made me wanna get “brutally” honest— I actually have 3 days off alcohol...I deliberately slipped at a social gathering on Sunday . Can’t start believing my own lies 
I will probably choose to slip again this weekend at the party I was invited to. But who knows ...maybe I will choose to be different. Not sure I wanna give up alcohol FOREVER. Sounds bleak
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Prayers sent for strength
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What's the harm in giving up alcohol forever?
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Hey Mandi ive been to a couple really good meetings the last couple days and my biggest takeaways are (1) tell someone outside yourself of your premeditated drinking plan, you’re more likely to rethink your behavior; and (2) the peace that sobriety can bring can be fucking uncomfortable and enduring the discomfort of unfamiliar emptiness or being alone with your thoughts is less painful than continuing dysfunctional behavioral patterns long term. Trying to figure out my version of spirituality and practicing gratitude even when i feel shitty have been helpful. Remember you dont have to drink even if you think you want to. You got this if you fall then get back on the horse 
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One day at a time
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I totally understand where you are coming from. I purposely told someone I was not feeling well today so I didn’t have to go out for fear of slipping. It sucks.
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Praying for you 
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I was 26 years old .when I came in to a a .
Once you give it all up and become in complete control of yourself you will feel like a Supreme being so divine like you have never felt before and that is power right there Ms Lady I use to drink and get high from sun up to sun down til I passed out but no the power that I have that we all have always had is much better than any drink or drug and I would not give it up for the world YOU CAN DO IT !!!!!!
No harm in the action…but the thought of “forever” can make one second guess their decision to get sober/clean and lead them astray.
But people like you and I know where things might be headed
It might take you more research to figure things out. For many that’s part of the process. The scary thing is not everyone makes it back.
Either you’ll soon learn/know it’s necessary or outside circumstances will make it crystal clear.