Just ready to give up on being clean 
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Why?
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Don’t . It’s all worth it trust the process !
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I know the feeling. For me I had to keep myself busy with tasks. I focused on my health issues. Keep you mind busy with other things. Eating healthy food. I had to rebuild my brain 
from nutrition to the way I think. It’s paying off big now. Living a clean and sober life of gratitude
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I know it can be hard and frustrating but it’s not worth it we are here for support
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I know exactly how you feel. I felt that way for the last three years. I’ve been really tested these last three years. My wife passed away on December 24, 2017. Three months after that I was diagnosed with COPD, chronic heart failure and diabetes. Trying to get my life back together and it’s hard. But I am slowly doing it. One thing I do know I don’t want to drink today. Because it’s not worth losing what I have in sobriety. But I do wish and I could drink again I am not afraid to let you know that. But I’m grateful for the people in the program because I can calling them for help and I’ll get the help that I need.
Trust me when I say it gets better it does get better. But everything is not going to work the way you want it to.

Time to throw in the towel and surrender? You never have to use again. Please go to a meeting. NA.org