Just lost almost 4 yr sober after I got way too arrogant about recovery. I stopped doing meetings & step work about 1 yr ago . Well, I woke up this morning with a huge bump on the side of my head and all I remember is puking and waking up in my garage .
Back to the steps I go . I’m grateful for this program because it does work, you just have to put the work in.
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Keep doing meetings brother you will get though it. It’s one day at a time. I feel the same way most of the days i wake up. Gotta that god for another day.
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Thank you
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Me to
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Sometimes it feels like the longer I am sober, the closer I get to taking that first drink again. My sobriety is dependent on a daily reprieve, if I start to forget I am an alcoholic/addict I will surely pickup again.
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Don’t beat yourself up, I know how it feels to relapse after having some significant clean time & how disappointed we feel with ourselves. There are lessons in relapse and you can ultimately use this to learn and make your recovery stronger. Wishing you the best. 
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