I've only recently begun to reach out to people though I've been sober a long time. I go to several meetings a week and I talk to people there but that's the extent of my social life. I have learned though, that loneliness is a dangerous thing.There's a difference between loneliness and just being alone. Being alone, it's just quiet time for me to reflect, to meditate, to seek spiritual guidance. I cherish that time, and it is important to me. We should all make time daily to be alone to reflect, to meditate, to seek guidance from God or your higher power. To gain spiritual strength. But loneliness is something different than being alone. For me, it is when the past begins to haunt me. It's when feelings of despair begin to surface. Alot of memories from traumatic childhood experiences. Unresolved issues that can never be dealt with because those people are gone. And at times struggle to put to rest. Because what's done is done, and who's gone is gone. For me it is some unresolved guilt and shame from past things that I did and the people that I hurt. These are the very kinds of feelings that people use as a reason to drink and use drugs so they can escape that pain and those memories. It's what I did when I was younger. Today when this happens, I first take time to pray. And then I go to meetings I go to talk to others so I can get out of myself. Nobody knows you, better than you do. This can both help and hurt you. Especially if you're unable to live with yourself and the life that you have lived. But know yourself, and learn what it takes to resolve that without the use of drugs and alcohol. Do any of you have ideas on how to deal with past issues, resentments, unresolved feelings and the like? What would help you in those times so that you would not turned alcohol drugs?
What I do is call a friend or a relative that I have not talked to in awhile. Just simple conversation. Most of my family is far away and especially now self isolation is easy to do. That’s not a good thing for me because that’s when I would drink.
Thank you for responding Denise. So how are things with you going?
I have tried writing letters to myself - at the time/age I was. It does feel somewhat cathartic. I end up opening up the flood gates so definitely good to be alone while writing. I do kinda need to set a time limit to make sure I don't dig a deeper hole. Just trying to open it up a little and be honest with myself about the situation, my choices and if there were factors out of my control.
Always nice to hear from you. A careful approach is a good idea.
Would like to hear more when you feel like it.
Checking out the app and open to this fellowship
long in recovery and new to step work