I've lost everything including my career. I don't h

I've lost everything including my career. I don't have any other training or qualifications. I need 30 cont ed classes before I can maybe get my cosmetology lic back. Yea that's right I do hair. The state of Illinois is overly concerned with what hair stylists are doing when they're not at work and discipline. My lic was placed on probation indefinitely for 5 years following a felony conviction for possession of a controlled substance. 15 years ago. They've made it damn near impossible for me to get it back so I've worked while it's on probation and just ignored it.. but I relapsed 5 years ago and let it slide. Now I have to jump through hoops take classes... mind you this had nothing to do with work and i was honest with the dept. I wrote a letter when it happened. Biggest mistake ever. Not only this but tell me...what hair stylist doesnt have a minimum of a DUI? Its beside the point.
I am broke. I made a ton of money doing hair and now I have no other skills. I'm at least a year away from going back to hair. I feel like such a loser. I dont know if I want to even do hair anymore. I'm afraid to apply for a job I'll get rejected and... that would be so bad for me. I'm almost 50 years old now. I don't see things like this as "exciting " anymore. I'm not "looking forward to what may lay ahead" nor do I think the "cosmic forces align to bring about my next chapter "... this is not at all where I thougt I'd be in life. I feel stuck. I am very depressed. I have lost many friends, my hey day is over, my prime is gone and I have nothing to look forward to. Also. I have a 12 year old boy who I love dearly. His dad took him to hurt me. He's turned my son against me its called parent Alienination actually... and I'm left here stone cold sober and all alone with nothing left and no interest in living no interest in dying either so dont get excited about this and call police.

Hang in there Jen I just got a DUI and I thought my life was over!!! Once I calmed down and figured out a plan things felt better. Don’t get down on your self.

Jen, hang in there. Don't let shame get the best of you. I lost my career too. I was a professor! I worked my rear off putting myself through grad school and not two years in my post grad teaching job, I got "laid off." At TWO campuses. This was after getting a second dui which, six years later, I'm still dealing with. I haven't been employed in 4. And if I'm honest, most if not all this stuff happened behind alcohol &/or other substances. Granted, I was legitimately victimized at one point which certainly accelerated my substance abuse (I was violently sexually assaulted the semester before I lost my job and have since been diagnosed with CPTSD) but it doesn't really matter who done me wrong, only that I have continued to wrong myself by refusing (or just not trying very hard on a better day) to do anything about it. Much love to ya. I don't have much wisdom to offer but I can tell you you're not the only one, you're not alone. There really are others who have been where you are and know how it feels. :v:

Hey there Jen: As others have said "Don't give up hope!"
I got clean and sober at 52. If I can do it, so can you or anyone else. I was shooting heroin and living behind a hedgerow, hiding from the police...
You could say that I was successful with 3 gold records, two platinum and 2 recording studios in New York City. But I fell and fell hard. Sure, I'd be rich as heck if I didn't use drugs and booze. I am lucky to be alive today. I'm working the 12 Steps of NA and have a life again. I don't crave drugs and I have awesome people that care about me and love me for who I am and where I am. I'm getting back into the music industry, slowly, but surely. I no longer hate myself and I have a new outlook and attitude. While I don't know you, and I'm not minimizing what you've been through, I'm asking you to pick yourself up and check out a meeting in your area. I'm sure that you'll meet some people who are willing to help you out. Thanks.

No way, I had to do 30 hrs to keep my Journeymans license and my Realtors license. When you think about it. It's really lest than 1 full week of classes. Ask a fellow stylist to help you through the classes or if you were in New Mexico I would help you get licensed. But take any extra cash, instacart or Walmart shoppers pay $15-$20 an hour. And you just shop groceries for other people and someone else can deliver it.

You’re so far from a loser. You’re someone who just bared your soul to other people who have maybe felt similar pain - that takes strength and courage. I understand that life is tough right now for you, maybe it always has been (it was for me), but this too shall pass. And remember you DO have control over how you respond to the world around you. Unfortunately, we must deal with life on life’s terms. I hate to be that person who suggests reading a book but I just started reading “You Can’t Hurt Me” by David Goggins ... this man went through hell and somehow was able to turn it around and use his pain and suffering as motivation to become the best version of himself. At the very least, it is an entertaining read and will give you something to do

You’re so far from a loser. You’re someone who just bared your soul to other people who have maybe felt similar pain - that takes strength and courage. I understand that life is tough right now for you, maybe it always has been (it was for me), but this too shall pass. And remember you DO have control over how you respond to the world around you. Unfortunately, we must deal with life on life’s terms. I hate to be that person who suggests reading a book but I just started reading “You Can’t Hurt Me” by David Goggins ... this man went through hell and somehow was able to turn it around and use his pain and suffering as motivation to become the best version of himself. At the very least, it is an entertaining read and will give you something to do when you’re bored

I remember my jumping off point. I was like wtf! But for some reason I found a way back to recovery. Completely blows my mind. I've been sober since October 19 2017 and for that I am grateful. Definitely been blessed :slightly_smiling_face: