I've found so many people on here that are struggling with getting past one day or one week much less a month or a year. Yes, I too have been right where you are at and feel your pain. You don't have to live like this any longer! To all of you who are struggling, this little snippet comes from what is known as the Doctor's Opinion in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.
It was this little snippet that gave me the clarity I needed to understand that there was very little hope for my recovery until I was ready to take the 12 steps that are suggested as a program of recovery.
Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false.
To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks–drinks which they see others taking with impunity.
After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of his or her recovery.
To me this was powerful and it hit me like an atom bomb.