It's so weird. I haven't had a drink since New Year and hadn't really thought much of it. Work took over a lot of my life and my crazy schedule put drinking out of reach. However, this week, w/ most of my work canceled because of the weather - and w/ me officially committing to sobriety - I find myself now craving alcohol. I wonder how much of it is psychological. When I'm not thinking about it it is so easy. But once my mind starts drifting, suddenly I'm caught up in thoughts of places I want to be sitting w/ a bourbon and cigar. It's that constant romanticizing of behavior that in practice has never actually been romantic. Anyway, that is where my head is at today.
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I've been sober and I'm recovery for a little over 4 yrs. This is my third time with sobriety. The first relapse into full use the very next day was a little after 2 yrs. The second was a little over 3 yrs. Both started with me chosing to move in with significant others who were in active addiction. I'm a hard core addict of multiple drugs and I find that when I'm not working some sort of a program, for me that's a.a. and I also do some individual counseling I will be back out there using in now time and for me if I chose to use again it highly likely it will be my last and I will not make it back. I heard some say something that sticks with me is that it is easier to stay stopped as apposed to having to stop again. Stay strong and look into things out there that have worked for others until u find what works for u. There are tons of online meetings and things especially now with covid closing just about everything. I know I can't do this alone.
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