In the beginning how many of you have had regular swings from bitterness to a burst of mania that almost feels like forgiveness? I’m new. What is this?? Is this why the 3rd step is so hard in the beginning? Does it get easier?
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Finding your true self is a process. Not easy to start, but it gets better the more you learn. Stay honest with yourself. Forgiveness no matter where it comes from always gives you a sense of relief, and release.
Everyday for awhile like 2 months
When you're in active addiction your dopamine production is way down because your brain figures out that you're getting dopamine from another source (your drug of choice) so it stops making its own. Then when you stop using, your dopamine production has to start back up, but that takes time. On top of that, drugs take over your frontal lobe and shut it down, so you're really not thinking rationally when you're using. That's also why people do really impulsive and dangerous things when they're using, especially in the quest to get more substances, because the part of the brain that makes rational decisions gets shut off.
So all that stuff is coming back online now. It's going to be uncomfortable and difficult, but it will definitely get better as your brain recalibrates itself. Make no mistake, it's very much a physical response, what you're going through is completely normal.
I'll couch that by saying I'm not a professional! That's the words of a layman and I might be a little bit off about some of the finer details. But that's more or less what's happening to you.
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Very true