I'm alone. Always. I yell scream beg demand try to earn and just give up on any real 100% devotion, love, commitment, faith, and future with him. I look at him and he don't look back. More attention he gives the TV. Let's see, could be a possible event leading up to my roller coaster of life. I give up, lay down and play dead. Then he pets me like a stranded dog. Just enough for me to think he's gonna give me attention, spend time with me or even act like I mean anything to him his son or their lives. Hmm back to the ex wife? Maybe but why say ex's are just that for a reason. So you saying we won't be friends? We won't speak converse, or even catch up? I'm friends with all my Ex's. I hate leaving or ending on bad terms. And I hate when he tells me to do something or sell something for him then acts like I did something wrong.. hello conversation yesterday!! You had tools and all kinds of shit you wanted to get rid of for cash or even trade to have some amount of control of any situation. Why do you flip back and forth. And why the fuck does he keep fucking with my body pillow. Don't be fucking with me acting like I be hiding shjt. I don't hide shit. YOU ALWAYS HOLD ANYTHING OF MINE THAT IS BOUGHT OR TRADED.. ALWAYS.. I said i was walking away
I made sure my bowl was broken and thrown outside. My shit I had was flushes bag and all. And my thing was melted into a pile. When I said I was done I meant I Was Fucking Done!!! I don't want it in the house around the house down the road or even down the Block on the next street. Why Shay was told to own up and get his shit and keep it with him. I don't want anything around me to make me weak or useless. A million kind words can be destroyed by one hurtful one,.. and look at him.. after weeks he smiles. Sure isn't because of me or anything to do with me. But I have learned something. The lies they tell will come to haunt them for life. U wanna talk shit atleast make sure it's the fucking truth. FACTS BITCHES
Well Jessica you need to take care of yourself. Sounds like to me that he is just there for himself not for you at all. He cares more about the TV than you. I would leave him have the TV and just go. Why do you let him take your stuff. I think you know what you need to do.If I had a relationship like that I would be gone in a heartbeat. And I wouldn’t even think twice I look back at it. 
It's not just on him. The personal struggle I am dealing with has really put a struggle on our long 2 yr relationship. I sometimes ask for to much expect to much or try to achieve to much. Maybe my personal goals are simply out of reach. I've gained 100lbs in a year and nothing between us is the same. Hasn't been the same since... well when I got back from rehab on heroin. I can't put blame on him alone, Yes he says some very hurtful spine piercing words to me, makes remarks that make me feel lover than the mold spots on an old cupcake. He tries! He goes above and beyond if I ask for something need something or ever want something. He will go without for me and my daughter to have something. He never does anything for himself. Besides beer. He don't get a new pair of shoes or a pair of pants. He goes to Walmart and gets me new pajama pants and bras without telling me he is going to. He sneaks me little treats he knows I like or goes out of the average or norm to get me something I didn't ask for but he thought I would like enjoy or appreciate. He just don't understand addiction and the havoc it puts on not only your personal life but the lives of everyone else. That it's strength we need.Not abandonment
So... you're an addict? And he's a jerk? Or is he the addict and also seems he's a jerk. He sneaks you things??? Like pajama bottoms from walmart that's sweet but no reason to stay with someone. Clearly you're not happy but what are you trying to say here?
So were u actively using when you guys met? And are u in recovery now?
I don’t think it’s that you’re too picky or that you’re nuts. It’s just yourself telling you it’s not time yet. Trust me I know I’ve been sober for 35 years and I was by myself for the first 15 years. And then I found a woman in my life. so be careful what you ask for you may get something that you don’t want. Be Patient.
Been in these types of situations and witness current friends and family members i ones just like it. It’s nearly impossible to exit fully bc were addicted to the ups and downs. Our body and brains register it the same way it does drug withdrawal and getting a fix