I was thinking that it might be a great idea

Recovery
#1

I was thinking that it might be a great idea for us members here to post our sobriety date next to our name. I've been to a lot of meetings across the country. It's really an autonomous matter. Some places people give their sobriety date before they speak and some don't. There seems to be a lot of newbies on this app. For some reason the newbies like to reach out to other newbies which is not really the best plan of action from my experience. We should be reaching out to people that have been there and have actually recovered for a significant period of time.

What does everyone else think?

#2

Newbies often reach out to other newbies because they may feel they relate better. Roads to sobriety are different for everyone. No one road is right.

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#3

And I agree it's a good idea to reach out to someone who has more experience. But reaching out to someone with the same experience allows folks to ve accountable to each other in lieu of 1 person being accountable and not the other.

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#4

Hey Dave, where that might help some people, AA has guidelines that prohibits any organization from being directly associated with them, because it could jeopardize their non-profit status. The app wasn't set up with AA protocol for that reason. All of the good AA does could be undone by someone claiming this app is a part of AA.

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#5

In my experience, some people can still be very “sick” even with a lot of time under their belt. And others can have a lot of experience and wisdom, even if they’re “newbies” - you could start a thread for people who have multiple years of consecutive sobriety? that way, beginners can come in if they want. And people who have lots of time can brag about it :crazy_face:

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#6

I agree. it's obviously not part of it's not part of Alcoholics Anonymous and only serves as a mode of support for people with addiction problems. I guess the reason I came up with that idea is because I see a lot of new people on here and they all seem to be asking the same questions and also talking about how they failed again and again and again. Everybody is talking about their failures but they're not talking about what the real solution is. I think sharing with people of all lengths of sobriety is good but I also believe that we should start with speaking with someone that has been sober for a long time and obviously knows how alcoholics and oradixare addicts think.

I appreciate everyone's view.

Peace

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#7

Just look at the new to sober connection like this. If I am planting a garden I am going to ask someone in my area that knows the soil and the climate, what I should plant. I wouldn't ask someone even an hour away because their soil is different. Sobriety is the same way. People who are newly sober have a different road than even those who go sober a year ago. They face different challenges (i.e. covid) than we did a year ago. While the advice of long term sober people is helpful, they cannot fully relate to those who are getting sober in this difficult climate.

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#8

Hey there. Sober since aug 2017 here. Don't even really think about it. Just keep busy with other things and find other positive outlets. Keep on staying positive.

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#9

I appreciate your concern for others.. I do believe you really care and want others to succeed. I love seeing on this app nothing but support for each other which I think is the main point here. I do see alot that people asking for help are guided to links for meetings and groups. I personally do reach out more for advice from people with more sobriety experience but I also love talking with people I more closely related to at the time as well. I think we can have both. Im 27 days sober.. back in my 20s I had a 7 year long run. Some of the newbies also do have some past experience as well I think too which might not be apparent. Maybe a relapse was recent and short lived I don't think that erases all their experience. Also I do think not everyone goes about sobriety in the same ways. But I want to thank you for caring so much about others. :slight_smile:

#10

What are your positive outlets?

#11

I don't think I can agree with that one Amanda. We alcoholics and addicts are not good at being accountable to each other. I think we feel safer with other people that are at the same level that we are because they're not going to challenge us on our old ideas. We need people in our lives that are going to point us in the right direction. More often than not, newbies don't like to associate with people that are experienced because they tend to challenge them to do something different. Alcoholics and addicts are renowned for wanting recovery without the necessary changes. Just my view.

#12

I'll say it again recovery is different for everyone. No one road is the only way.

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#13

I think people who have recovered for a “significant period of time” isn't always the “right" answer. I stopped counting on how long I've been sober but there are some who have relapsed after 15 or 20 years. Personally, I don't think it's wise for a “newbie” to get advice from someone who relapsed after those many years or will relapse.

I know life happens and I'm not trying to fake fun of those in the scenario. But as someone who's fairly new I would not take it well if someone relapsed after 5 years and I was reaching out to you for help.

This is just my opinion and people will have to do what's best for them.