I’ve been told it’s best to not enter a relationship until you’ve reached your second year sober. I understand why that makes sense, but is it necessary to put marks down for everything?
I think that depends on ones maturity level ! Guides or suggestion are not a line drawn in the sand for everyone ! Just my humble opinion
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Getting into a relationship early on in sobriety can be tricky. I got into one my last try in sobriety and it blew up in my face ending with relapse and starting my clean time over again. People suggest one year because it gives you a chance to get to know the sober, happy and healthy you. Getting into a relationship too early on can be unfair to both parties
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If you relapse because of something it is a bad idea.
Being sober isn't the magic solution to dating or relationships.
Specially women, who are always gonna judge you regardless...
I wouldn't say it is the magic number, but the idea of relearning who you are before you try finding someone to be with. You aren't even sure who you are and what you would be interested in anymore.
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It's basically so you don't fall right into something else and not have your head thinking straight yet, just to be with someone or because your lonely, just don't per se go looking for it, def don't go with some one who's just now sober too and make sure it's not just because, that it's actually someone that would be helpful in your recovery not a drawback
Dating ≠ Sobriety
I disagree with that last part.
Good morning today is going to be a very positive day for me and all the love ones that are around me to support me
By that I mean, when you were using you may have wanted a party girl. I would image that would have changed. The basic type may not change but basic behavior should.
My sponsor told me 25 yrs ago to avoid dating for at least a year. I had ALOT of work to do on myself before I'd be an asset in a relationship. It was really good advise. I focused on the 12 steps so I could lead a sober life, not simply not drinking. It is something I .pass on to my sponcees.
I stand by it.
Co-dependency is usually a big part of addiction. Learning how to be comfortable and happy on your own is super important for long term sobriety.
I think it’s more about being sober long enough to truly get to know yourself before getting into a relationship with someone else . Alcohol alters our perception of ourselves as well as our perception of others . You also want to be sober long enough to be able to handle anything an intimate relationship could throw at you and not risk drinking again .
Before you can hope to have any relationship last, you have to be comfortable with who you are. Before you can be comfortable with the sober you, you have to meet the sober you. That takes time, therefore the waiting until the second year of sober you. Hell after 32 years there are still quirks unveiling themselves to me, they no longer make me uncomfortable but they do show up.