I need some parental help and I didn’t know where to go. I figured this might be a good place because of the subject. My 19 year old son (who lives at home) recently announced he does not want to go to college after taking a year off after high school. He said he wants to learn a trade. I’m okay with that. We need people who have a trade. He got a job to learn plumbing and has been working at it a month and likes it a lot. The owner/boss said he is willing to train him and is doing so. The problem is he works with a few guys who smoke pot regularly. My son came home with a container of weed and is now smoking it every day when he gets home from work. Neither my wife nor I smoke weed. I did in my college days, but I now choose to live a sober lifestyle free of alcohol and other substances. He’s 19 and an adult, but it’s still illegal here in Florida unless you have a marijuana card. He doesn’t. I’m afraid of two things. I’m afraid he gets busted while driving. My kids are mixed race and he may be profiled by cops and busted at a routine traffic stop. The other concern is the example it sets for his sister who is 14 years old and an honors student. She looks up to him and I don’t want him normalizing pot usage to her. I haven’t confronted him over this yet because frankly, I’m not sure how to approach it.
Please give me your feedback.
This is a rough spot. I have no experience at all. I have no professional advice.
Have you given him an ultimatum? Ex: you're over 18, living here bill free, you must stop doing X for these privileges to continue? Or let him know the legal ramifications for breaking the law and how that will affect his future?
You might check the telehelp section of the app. It has places you can call for advice on addiction issues. Barring that I agree with Amanda.
Going to present this to him soon. Thanks.
What's wrong
Set firm boundaries with clear expectations and very clear consequences. I know for me this alcoholic is extremely hard headed and sometimes I can't see the simplicity and what is being expected of me