I’m having sponsor problems but if I’m honest it’s a me problem. I freAked out on her over my car breaking down and done other stuff going on and I’m blaming her in my mind for not having the necessary words to help me. And she hasn’t called so I’m telling myself she doesn’t care which is crap. Why is it so hard to be humble and just apologize? I better get used to it because I’m almost ready for my fifth step. I do think it’s time for a new sponsor but she has been there and doesn’t deserve to be treated that way.
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Humility would be pride if it was easy. We carry anger and embarrassment longer than we should because it deflects the necessity of making amends. Problem with that is it creates a root between people. It is human nature to feel the way you do. It is better nature to do what is right when you don't want to.
Says so much about you that you were able to come to terms and see the issue differently. Seriously, that’s awesome. That’s the work.
Apologize. It'll do so much good. You can probably keep her as your sponsor.
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Weather you keep her as a sponsor or not, our responsibility is to clean our side of the street, my first sponsor told me we do not say “we’re sorry” in recovery, she said we say that we were wrong in the way we responded or reacted, trust me after many lessons and getting tired of saying I was wrong, I fell back on the simple solution which is to pause when agitated, thy will not mine be done.
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Turn to your higher power of your understanding. If you’re are ready for you fifth step, then you’ll have God on your mind 24/7. Ask god for guidance when we are in times of uncertainty. Learning to stop harming others and ourselves is a huge part of sobriety. Changing the way we think requires self compassion and awareness. Meditation can help with this.
We all make mistakes. It’s when we own up to them that shows how much we’ve grown.
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