I’m having a really hard time lately. My now ex gf is an alcoholic in recovery. She left me just after New Years and relapsed two days later. We still talk and spend time together on weekends. I am still so much in love with her but she says she can’t be in a relationship right now and may never want to try with me again. Yet we still cuddle and kiss and have slept together since splitting. She is also involving a man she used to be fwb with before me in her recovery. I feel this is dangerous because he is struggling with sex addiction. How do I get over her and what do I do?
I found I had to have no.contsct with my ex girlfriend if I wanted to get over her and be happy again
I don’t know if I can do that. I’m so very much in love with her and want to support her recovery. I feel if I have no contact I will lose her completely amd it may make her relapse again
You can help her by focusing on your own well-being, my friend. I am very sorry to say this but I agree with what Christopher said. You should cut off contact for your sake. If there is another man involved consider this over. Sadly, they want you or they don't. It's pretty simple! You'll look back one day and see how you overcomplicated the story because you have hope that things will work out. Sadly, she has already made up her mind. If she knows that you have feelings for her and she continues this game, it's very selfish and awful of her. Her recovery cannot be dependent on you it has to be on her. You are putting yourself at risk by holding onto hope. I've been there many times and refuse to do that anymore. No games.
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Well said...
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Great advice. No contact. Use your time to invest in yourself.
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I agree, no contact. The only thing you are accomplishing is prolonging your misery. It's like quitting anything you liked but now is causing you misery. It will be hard at first but get easier everyday. And I think you will end up with a lot more self respect.
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Two things, 1 the only person you can save is yourself. 2. She sounds really destructive to you and I'm more worried about you
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Thanks, homie. Also, I appreciate your posts.
I am reminded of the man who loved venomous snakes. Not saying she is one but she sounds like a danger to your sobriety. Any ways this guy had hundreds of the world's deadliest snakes. One day they found him dead in his home bitten by his prized black momba. He swore his snakes loved him and would never hurt him. Sorry to sound harsh but sometimes we love the comfort not the person and she may represent that for you. The one thing you kept from addiction. Just remember a ship will always stay where it is tied.