I have always felt I might have a drinking problem. I have never fully felt it though since I never truly had a horrible thing happen because of my drinking. But the facts are I look forward to going out to a bar very much so. I don’t care if I go to a bar alone and have a few heavy beers. I have drank and drove. Something I thought I fixed prior to COVID. Recently I met a girl, at a time where I truly wanted to be a better person. I felt through the 10 months we were together I had never been happier but the drinking continued and even probably increased. Just a few days ago, on a Sunday, I got almost blacked out drunk and just randomly made out with a girl. Have no clue who she was or how long but remember doing it. I take full responsibility but I just know if I hadn’t drank to get that drunk I would never have acted like that. It feels it’s time for me to admit alcohol is one of the few things that always ends up ruining things for me. My girlfriend found out and broke it off. She tells me I’m not a bad person but she could never trust me again. Her devious long term relationship was with a guy who lied and cheated (much great than me but still). It’s horrible I would break her trust when she was trying so hard to get it back. This might all be stupid things but I just feel alcohol has run it’s course in my life. Sadly everyone I hang out with drinks.
Don't consume too much. You don't have to feel too drunk. Take periodical breaks and see where you are. Unlike you, I have an serious, I can never stop with two drinks, almost always get depressed, act stupid. You know who you are. Take care
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I can't take a drink of alcohol either. I have learned to abstain from alcohol and drugs a day at a time. It really works and is easier with the help of others. I meet other people in recovery at 12 Step meetings. It works! I have 3 years, 5 months and several days free. Life is much better for me now!!